Are you thankful on Thanksgiving?

I know that my kids growing up didn’t always appreciate their mom’s heart to teach them about God’s love, grace and mercy. We would have this silly tradition that there would be 3 M & M’s on their plates and they would have to think of at least three things that made them thankful this last year. As I respond early this morning to a simple text from a kid, where half the words are misspelled, I feel blessed and loved. More so the text from my wife accusing me of being ADHD at 5:30am causes me to chuckle but she’s the reason I love to write about the WHY of being thankful not just on Thanksgiving but everyday.

My incredible best friend, partner in life and mother of my kids is the one who has taught me so much about the beauty, gift and preciousness of life. She’s the one that reminds to look at the incredible sunrise or the stars that shine out at night during our morning walk. She’s the one that pushes me to consciously interact with our family, friends and even strangers in a face-to-face fashion. She’s the one that God has placed in my life that makes me thankful for each day of life regardless of whether the day is perceived to be great, so so or not so good!

I know that there will be many today who won’t have a great Thanksgiving Day. Many won’t have friends or family but at least will be in line at St. Vincent de Paul’s for an incredible meal. I had the blessing of giving out Thanksgiving meals a few days ago because of an amazing gift of love by a partner church. Yet, I had a few calls from single moms who don’t have anything. I have the choice, do I respond and go out and buy another meal or act as if I’m finished helping? Tough question when it comes to how far do you go when it comes to living out Thanksgiving?

I’m thankful for the gift of life that each day reminds me that the little things in life, beautiful sunrise, a cup of coffee, a chuckle from a kid, my wife’s foot rubbing up against mine in the middle of the night is what ultimately makes life meaningful. I know that I could write some type of theological statement on the propositional notion of being thankful that might impress a few of my more intellectual friends but life should be lived in such a way that a kid can understand what you are saying and you can take the time to listen to a grandma who is lonely regardless of how impatient you are around seniors.

I hope you can find at least three things today to GIVE THANKS for as you reflect on how good you have it in contrast to many who will experience brokenness and loneliness today. I’m thankful for my wife, my family, incredible friends and most of all for a God that gives my life purpose and a reason to scream out today THANKS!

Thanksgiving time = be thankful and give!

Yesterday while eating dinner we enjoyed seeing hundreds of people participate in Turkey Tuesday. This is a Phoenix phenomenon where a local TV station promotes individuals, churches and businesses to donate Turkeys to St. Vincent de Paul Center. It was so exciting to see one of my close friends and partners, Brad Ghaster, donate towards Turkey Tuesday. I had a similar opportunity on Monday to receive 55 turkeys and food baskets from Shepherd of the Desert Church in Scottsdale.

I spent the afternoon with a group of friends making deliveries to a group of grandmas and low-income families that wouldn’t have had anything for Thanksgiving. It’s so incredible how our partner church, Shepherd of the Desert Lutheran, comes up each year with a list of items for the food baskets that the larger church family donates and the women’s group put together these amazing baskets. I always chuckle because they put the food in an incredible laundry type plastic basket that is always a big hit. Many keep asking ‘Do I have to give back the basket?’ and my response is NO it’s yours use it.

One of the biggest goals in my life is to continue to be a person who is quick to say THANK YOU and then live out what it means to be a giver. It’s so easy to be on the receiving end but not as easy to be someone that is on the lookout to see others in need and be creative in seeing ways to help in the right fashion. I have the privilege of being on the giving side of life because of so many special friends that provide the means and ability for my organization to help those that are less fortunate. I love doing this because I have an opportunity to see tears of joy and then for me to humbly understand the responsibility many of us have to live out our calling to share out of our abundance.

I just love the thanksgiving season because I know that we will do a painting blitz that will involve hundreds of volunteers that will show real kindness to a group of seniors and then the following week have the privilege of providing a great Thanksgiving meal to families who wouldn’t have a turkey on Thanksgiving day. I’m so appreciative of many close friends who have influenced me by their living example to care and give of their time, talents and treasures.

I had spent an hour yesterday talking to a new friend who was interested in helping the homeless in downtown Phoenix. As we were finishing our conversation she was quick to agree with me that it’s incredible how many people do step up during Thanksgiving and Christmas to help but what about the rest of the year? What about the middle of the summer when it’s in the 100’s in Phoenix and many are gone for the summer to enjoy the beaches in San Diego or Rocky Point?

So as you approach Thanksgiving please remember, reflect and give thanks and keep your eyes open to see an opportunity to give to someone that doesn’t expect it.

Is it my fault that I’m White, Brown or Black?

Did you choose your parents? Did you spend time deciding your ethnic or socio-economic setting as a baby? Did you ask your dad or mom to go to graduate school so you could live a better life? Oops or what if you were born into a family where your dad disappeared or is in prison is that your fault? What if you have a mom who has been unemployed and lived off the safety net of the State is that your path in life too? I was born into a ‘White’ middle class family with incredible parents so does that make me a bad person because I was taught from the cradle to have morals, work hard, share and care? Whereas my dad was born into a family where his parents divorced when he was 10 and he grew up in a ‘Black’ neighborhood in St. Louis so does that make him disadvantaged and a thug?

I just finished reading an incredible article about Emily Smith who is a ‘White’ urban school teacher that one day woke up to the fact that her ‘whiteness’ did handicap her when it came to working with students of color that came out of under resourced single mom homes.  This last week there were peaceful but loud protests taking place in Chicago because of a ‘White’ police officer that gunned down a 17 year old Laquan McDonald.  Yet, there wasn’t any protest about a Black assailant that was in the process of kidnapping a gal that was rescued by a doctor who was shot while helping.

The racial battle continues to grow in our country as the reasons for racial inequality continue without anyone doing much to see bridges being built between very different communities of people. I applaud Emily Smith for her willingness to recognize the need to teach in a different format to reach her urban students who are very different from her. It wouldn’t be any different if she were teaching in a magnet school where her students excelled and she would have to adjust her subject matter to better help the learning process.

The challenge today is that it is so easy to do the blame and shame thing on everyone instead of considering what are the elements that have caused both ‘White’ privilege and ‘Black’ oppression in today’s society. Again I didn’t choose my racial, educational or moral level of my parents who birthed me! Much as some of the kids and teens of color that I’m around didn’t purposely choose a dad who is in prison for attempted murder. The opportunity is for all of us to choose to work together to learn more about each other’s stories and see positive avenues to pursue which helps us to better understand each other. None of us can alter the past, whether that be parents that grew up during the depression, WWII, Vietnam or the impact of the historical journey of our country that allowed and promoted slavery.

Clearly the present dialogue or more accurately shouting between racial groups over the present tense situation doesn’t accomplish anything but to promote violence, hatred and more racial prejudice.  I will confess to the fact that I react to the term White privilege because the setting upon which I have been fortunate to experience is a byproduct of hard work, determination and the grace of God not an inheritance of a wealthy estate. Yet, the perception of many in the Black community is that my success in life means the demise of their community. Is it really my fault that many of the Black teen guys I’m around choose to drop out of school, be unemployed, steal from the local Circle K Store, smoke pot, be rude, crude and foul mouthed?  Most are going to react to anyone who acts out in an immoral fashion if it intersects their lives.

As I relate back to many friends who come out of very different social and racial contexts we have to purposely choose to dialogue about the present day issues in a positive and constructive fashion. Yet, what usually happens is the perception that could be reality is that another White Policeman shot another Black teen in a totally unjustifiable fashion.  Understanding of the why of what caused that White Policemen to shoot are never considered much as the why of what caused that Black young man to challenge the authority of the Police Officer is never considered either.

It’s so easy for the White person to assume that all Black males under 25 are thugs from the hood much as it so easy for the Black person to assume that all White people are racists and will go out of their way to make sure they oppress anyone of color. If we continue to live this way then there will be more Black men killed by White Police Officers, protest will continue and the divide between the different communities will only get worse.

What would happen if all sides involved would stop assuming the other side is totally evil and out to do harm and instead take the time to learn a little bit about the other group’s circumstances and life story. Imagine what it would be like to have a ‘Black’ Emily Smith write about how she had to adjust her teaching style to accommodate a group of Hispanic Students that were learning to speak English whose parents were undocumented farm workers?

The simple fact is that we live in a complicated society where everyone ultimately has a story that they believe should give them access to what’s best in life. The sad reality is that too often our plight in life is a byproduct of many factors that are beyond our control. So what is the best path to pursue; ongoing violence, peaceful protests, pleading ignorance or becoming like Emily Smith who purposely chose to admit to her blindness and then do something positive about it?

Moving again?

Moving again?

 Change is good? Tough question to answer! Most of us are set in our ways and balk at someone attempting to push us to change, consider another opinion or dive into something that seems rather alien. As an Air Force brat that moved every couple of years I had a mom that was a genius about forcing me to enter into my new neighborhood and new school without any hesitation. I can remember being at war with my parents when I discovered that we were going to move in my sophomore year of High School.

We had lived in Montana for five years, which was a Bennett record; I had become an established rock god, had girls flocking around our band and had become an Eagle Scout at 13. My world was literally rocking until I heard that the Air Force Base was going to close and the bomber squadron was being relocated. I was tired of always moving just as I had become established and made friends. Yet, my mom, the expert at transitions, had taught me well to suck it up, get packed and see this as an adventure in life. The sky is the limit, so don’t complain but seize the moment to say your good-byes and then get on with it because life doesn’t stop. You will always make more friends and yesterday can’t hold you down supposedly.

So as I face another move, transition and new neighborhood I wonder what I’ve learned in the last five years. Funny that it seems to be five-year cycles that often define my life. I know that change at times can be like getting a second chance on life or discovering that you are getting old and don’t’ do as well with adjusting to much of anything. I definitely have learned over the year that home is where your family and friends happen to be and has less to do with a house or a neighborhood. Yet, I’m a little jealous of those who have lived most of their lives in one house and can actually drive back and see it as their kids become grown adults.

I don’t cherish the thought of having to pack, organize, toss out what I haven’t touched in five years and have to ask friends for help. The good news is that we are only moving a little over a mile away.  Yet, I know that sadly I won’t miss the negativity of my neighbors who are in a different world from me and are too easily irritated over silly stuff that doesn’t matter. Yes, I will do a better job of intentionally reaching out to my new friends that will live close to me. We will have a great house to entertain and build community. The question is whether we will step up and not hide in our new house and spend too much time with being obsessive with making everything perfect.

Mom I do miss not having you around to encourage me, kick me in the butt and forcibly walk me house to house to discover the ‘lay of the land’.  I know I can’t assume that any neighbors will actually come over with cookies or a bottle of wine. Yet, I’m going to make the choice to make our little block our new home and discover the beauty of living close to open fields, South Mountain Park and most importantly being walking distance from my Starbucks.

Yes, moving can be good because it forces you to rethink old patterns of behavior, toss out what you haven’t touched in years and have your world rattled a little by strangers who you hope will become new friends soon.

Heaven on Earth in the midst of a terror attack!

This last Saturday I had a group of over 200 friends help a group of seniors in a low-income neighborhood. We painted the exterior of 7 seniors’ homes on Saturday. I know that in the midst of doing an incredible community project that literally hundreds of families were mourning the loss of their loved ones in the midst of another tragic horrifying terrorist attacks. I can’t fathom the utter shock and fear of the people in the stadium or concert hall. I watched in total confusion as to the purpose of these attacks taking place at the same time in different locations. Why would anyone be willing to blow themselves up to kill fellow human beings?

I’m going to give a shout out and brag about two special friends, Samur and Muai. Saturday I witnessed a large group that ranged from Koreans, Chinese, a variety of different churches, a local high tech company and a significant group of Muslim college students show tangible expression of love in helping seniors. Over the last couple of months I have grown to appreciate the heart of these young Muslim friends who have been so willing to cross over religious and cultural barriers to help with doing community projects.

I know that the world will be too quick to judge all Muslims as if they are responsible for the actions of a small few that are extremist radicals. My Muslim friends exemplify the essence of true servant leadership that is reflected in their willingness to help all people regardless of race, creed or socio-economic setting. As I write this post one of my friends will meet me soon to help pick up all the left over supplies from Saturday’s painting blitz.

I’m personally humbled at the heart and character of my two young Muslim friends. My prayer is that the larger world community outside of Phoenix could see the work these young men are doing and see their passion to impact all life in our greater Phoenix area and ultimately the world. I confess that it’s so easy to label and judge different religious, racial or socioeconomic groups because of my own personal biases. Yes, desperate times do require what might appear as extraordinary measures to overcome the reaction to the terrorist attack. How do we confront the evil in the world?

I believe that my new friends have shown an alternative path to show the essence of their personal belief system that is so far removed from these suicide bombers. Yet, the sad tragedy is that the world will be focused on these twenty or so extremists as the rest of the millions of Muslims in the world will be judged as if they are responsible for the mayhem.

Big thanks and a shout out to Samur and Muai! You have blessed me in a way that has brought heaven to earth with the help of your group and the other 200 friends who chose to rise up early on Saturday and show the world that there still is a heart of love to serve seniors and those less fortunate!

Who do you follow the ‘Donald’ or Aaron Rogers when it comes to your view of Muslims?

What has happened to having common sense and a heart to care for fellow human beings in tough circumstances? The Trumpster is ready to close all Mosques because of the terrorist attacks this last week and now a growing group of governors have chosen to label all Syrian refugees as being extremist terrorists. The person who stands out this last week is Aaron Rogers, a quarterback, who purposely spoke out against a fan in the stands who said something totally racist and inappropriate.

What has happened to our society that we continue to react out of fear instead of having a broader sense of providing hope and help to those that are being persecuted are experiencing injustice? The mindset or logic that unfortunately typifies most of our presidential contenders would see us firing all ‘White’ Police Officers or arresting all ‘Black’ Men that hang out on the street. Isn’t it possible to step back and see that out of the billions of Christians and Muslims in the world today that 99.99 % are amazing people who do care about the human race and would be willing to help if the opportunity was provided for them?

The sad commentary because of the media’s coverage of tragic events that brings them into our lives instantly is it becomes too easy to follow the lead of those who scream the loudest either out of ignorance or fear. Again the voices that get attention would talk about bombing the ‘Hell’ out of certain people groups or just as crazy to establish a deportation posse that would round up 12 million Hispanics and ship them across the border regardless of the circumstances!

This last week I again saw the heart of a group of Muslim students that chose to do something rather radical for anyone! Muai and his group of friends volunteered to help paint a house of a low-income senior with my group that were predominately Christians. I’m so impressed with my Muslim friends who totally shatter the stereotype of Islamic people as being unwilling to mix with non-Muslim groups and take a risk working with people who could be critical of them after the terror attacks in Paris, Beirut and the growing list of attacks. The simple fact is that Muai is no different than the rest of my 200 plus volunteers that helped paint seven houses of seniors this last Saturday.

So what has happened to the church and our society when it comes to showing real grace and compassion to the widow, orphan or in this context the refugee that would be murdered if they stayed in their country? Has our society forgotten that all of our descendants were at some point the alien or foreigner in the land or the Native American that was persecuted or the African American Slave that was seeking justice and freedom?

My heart is broken after the events last Friday but I have hope for the future because I witnessed a large group of people of all backgrounds, i.e. Chinese, Korean, Muslim, Christian, Gay and an assortment of ethnic mixes show real kindness to a group of low-income seniors!

Why all of the #ranting?

Is the world really to going to hell in a hand basket as my dad would joke at times when I was a teen in the 60’s? I’m someone that is passionate about seeing racism, classism, age discrimination and gender inequality addressed in a practical fashion that sees definitive progress happen over time. The challenge today is that everyone on all sides of the issues are so quick to cry foul to the other side. Everyone is an expert in statistics, race and now police brutality. Yet, the sad reality is that the lives of anyone who is injured or killed is a true tragedy that needs to be mourned and the issue of why what happened has to be brought into the light! Justice means we have to discover the truth and see tangible consequences for ongoing acts of hatred, violence and injustice.

I was listening to a radio host rant about a local incident where a Black man was pulled over by a Tucson police supposedly and his post about what happened had gone viral. The conclusion of the radio star, after looking at his Facebook page, was that this Black man who is in the National Guard and has a permit to carry a concealed weapon must be a ‘cop lover’ that had obviously fabricated his story. The individual was clearly someone who couldn’t relate to the usual White cop attacking a Black man that came out of poverty because he gave the Tucson Police high marks for their being fair to him regardless of whether he should have been cited for a broken tail lamp and not having the most current registration in his possession.

The point of the ranting talk show host was that this incident regardless of it’s veracity didn’t have any relevance to the latest outrage on social media of a Black teen gal being man handled by a White security officer at a high school. The talk show host continued to make the point that police, teachers and security officers don’t have to be rewarded or given accolades when they are doing their jobs correctly. Then another battle erupted between the two celebrity talk show hosts and a variety of callers that expressed the point that all of the bad press that comes out about the police or Black men makes it so easy to make assumptions and generalizations that are so far from the truth. Yes there are a few bad police officers and a few bad people of all races that ultimately will face some type of law enforcement person whether that is in the classroom, on the freeway, on the street or in the courtroom.

Is it possible to address serious issues in such a fashion that the truth can be discovered and the majority of people understand what really happened? Yes there is a serious issue about police brutality that appears to be pandemic much as there seems to be an issue in our society about understanding how to relate back to those in authority whether that is in court with a judge, a classroom with a teacher or a police officer in your neighborhood. I know when I grew up there wasn’t an Internet or social media that could bring the news of some unfortunate occurrence to the attention of millions literally in an hour.

I had a text from a friend who is totally exasperated over the ongoing inability for any groups of people, whether that is in the church, racial groups or social groups to show much interest in dialoguing in a fashion that shows resolve and change of heart on all sides. There are clearly many barriers between racial groups, socio-economic groups and religious groups to see much hope for our future according to my young friend. I recently attended a conference a week ago that talked a little about how mercy and grace can help social injustice in our society from the church’s perspective. Yet, in the midst of this conference I had various conversations between people of Hispanic, African American and Anglo backgrounds that seemed to still be in the ‘dark’ about how their actions or lack of interest contributes to the problem.

The talk show host is purposely being a cynic who wants to provoke a reaction to anyone that truly cares or is capable of discerning what is really happening presently in our society. The difficulty is that all of the cynics in the world, like this talk show host, tend to just talk about the issues and throw out suggestions, yet they themselves choose to take few steps to see healing and understanding be promoted through their media platform. 

So it’s ok to continue ranting to see justice come as along as you are willing to do something in a positive fashion to bring change. I know that thanking someone for doing a job well done is a flash from the past but maybe it’s worth trying! I can’t fathom how many teachers face discipline issues everyday and could potentially lose it and be the next viral video or what about the police officer or fireman/woman that sees the tragedy first hand of someone dying without cause lose it when someone does something crazy and they over react.

Bottom line it’s time to intentionally make friends across racial groups, socio-economic groups and professions. Just maybe you would be more understanding and less quick to criticize or attack and hopefully the same would happen to you as your friendship groups expand!

Why the ongoing violence in our communities?

I had a good friend send me a link to a High School classroom video that recently had gone viral. It showed a police officer attempting to take a student out of the classroom for being disrespectful. The video taken by one of the students shows the officer’s attempt to get her to cooperate turns into his throwing her to the ground in a rather violent fashion. Clearly the officer has used too extreme of force to remove the student but why didn’t the student comply with the teacher, administrator and now the officer? Now the school, the officer and student are featured on all social media, the news and soon in court.

I recently did a community service project where 140 volunteers partnered with me to paint the exterior of houses of low-income seniors. What strikes me as I contrast how it was possible in a tough neighborhood to have that many volunteers do something rather amazing; help someone in real need. After a few hours of painting the houses were finished, cleaned up and everyone from volunteer to grandmas and grandpas could step back to see the power of working together. The amazing picture that stands out in my mind is that of two little girls playing together as their parents painted grandma Sophie’s house.

What happened that caused a classroom to turn into strong-armed attack by a police officer with a student? What happened that orchestrated the painting of 5 houses with 140 volunteers that ended in a rather peaceful fashion with everyone walking away sensing something good had happened and the community was better? It’s amazing the difference between the clash and abuse of authority; contrasted to the proper use of someone’s gifts and time to do something positive and beneficial to the community.

I totally understand looking back as a teen growing up in the 60’s how I balked at any form of authority that told me what to do especially if it was contrary to my own will. I can also remember the quickness of many to distrust and disrespect those that were older. Looking back I must admit that I was wrong regardless of whether I had a bad teacher, had an unfortunate experience with a law officer or didn’t always agree with my parent’s dictates because of my unwillingness to listen. The opportunity is for all to stop assuming that their rights and authority in any situation gives them license to harm anyone or destroy property. What would have happened in that classroom if that student had listened to their teacher that day and behaved? What might have happened if the police officer instead of attempting to physically restrain the girl had called her parent(s) and allowed them to take their daughter home?

What if a person’s rights took the back seat to having a heart of compassion and understanding in this type of situation? Maybe the student had the day from hell and had a meltdown? It is possible that the officer also had a bad morning but unfortunately took out his anger on the student instead of dealing with his own personal feelings.  The opportunity is for all involved ultimately to do what is right and work through personal differences that then help the rest of us see that it is possible to resolve differences without using violence. 

I know personally it is very difficult to confess to my part in loosing my temper or making a poor judgment call. The reality that is unfortunate to admit is that at times our poor choices will require a response that requires ‘special help’ whether that’s my willful disobedience to an authority figure or the extreme misuse of someone’s authority to stop a bad situation from getting worse.

Why can’t we be like the two little kids that played together as their family and friends painted a house?