3 steps to avoid communication breakdown!

It takes a little bit of ‘guts’ or courage to actually admit to yourself and then to your peers that you are the primary cause of communication breakdown in your own circles.  Instead of always pointing the finger at someone that has beat you to the punch step back and realize the following rather simple principles that will transform the way you communicate! As I sit at Starbucks writing this post I’m listening to one of my favorite rock bands from the 70’s, Led Zeppelin, playing Communication Breakdown.  Yes these rockers from the 70’s understood better than most the issue with communication breakdown isn’t the other person but ME!

The first admission I have to make to myself is that I’m not necessarily the smartest person on the face of this planet! Everything that I think that the world needs to hear through my self-expression has to be put on hold for my own personal learning curve. The main purpose of communication is to gain knowledge, learn how to become a better listener and then most of all to gain understanding about what makes life work better. The challenge is that I’ve been taught from the cradle to scream out to get attention and even as a youth, 20 something to a 60 something I’m under the false illusion that the world will stop what it’s doing to LISTEN to ME. The reality will eventually sink in that the world doesn’t revolve around me and my dribble!

The second realization is that I have to change my communication style to go from being a talker to someone that is willing to forbear and actually listen without thinking automatically how I should respond. Yes, this is the more difficult paradigm shift for myself I will admit. I really don’t like listening and enjoy hearing myself expostulate. Yet, if I’m going to grow in my life journey I must transition from being strictly a one sided communicator. I must learn how to listen first, not open my mouth and then digest what’s being expressed.

I know everyone has a friend who too often monopolizes the conversation or maybe that happens to be you or me that everyone can’t stand to be around. So here’s the opportunity to shock your spouse, family or workplace associates by choosing intentionally not to be tbe first to speak out nor the last to get their proverbial two cents in at the last moment. Think for a minute about how your life would be transformed if it wasn’t always about being in the center of attention! The pressure to perform would lessen and you could discover the power of observing, listening and learning!

So admit to yourself that the biggest communication problem is that you don’t listen to understand but listen to reply and take control of the conversation.  The opportunity is whether you are going to LISTEN and learn or continue to be the one that controls the conversations and annoy your spouse, friends and fellow workers.