My Man - Nate

I had a couple of texts from two guys who are 20 somethings asking for help. One of them is already a dad times four and the other is still single and pursuing putting his life on the right track. The one text was more a cry for emotional support after his girlfriend had dumped him after calling her his other girlfriend’s name. I only had time to meet with one of them yesterday so I chose Nate.

I know that there are many who look at what we are doing from a distance. Some are afraid of what we do because it is multi-cultural, loud and chaotic or not something they can put into their box. Others within our community are slow to want to join in because it requires some commitment and personal cost. My man – Nate I have been around the last four years. I have been more involved with his mom and little sister or actually niece. She is definitely a wild child that isn’t much different from her mom at a young age. It is Nate’s mom that I have always appreciated because of her ability to be the glue in a family that has some tough challenges.

I have watched Nate from the inside of my truck or van as he and some friends are usually playing basketball in the South Ranch Park. I can remember last summer being challenged to a game with his associates against a group we had visiting from LA. I was impressed that my Koreans were almost able to beat the team from the hood. What was great about the game was that it gave me a chance to be on Nate’s turf with his friends.

I asked Nate to do lunch with me. I know he was rather surprised but obviously didn’t mind getting a free lunch and an opportunity to better understand this old white guy who now lives and works in his neighborhood. I was able to get inside of Nate’s head the first time we met. He was very capable of explaining what he loved about life, i.e. playing B-ball, arguing about politics and caring for his family. He was at a roadblock in his life because he hadn’t finished school, didn’t like to sit in class and didn’t have a job. I know that there was a side of him that he didn’t mind not having to have to do anything. Yet, there is his mom knocking herself out for him by working as a hotel maid the last 20 years.

I told Nate that if he was willing to be accountable and step up I would get him a laptop he could use with pursuing his GED. He explained how he was hyperactive and just couldn’t sit and focus very well if at all. So I did my Craigslist magic and found him an inexpensive mac laptop. I was pleasantly surprised to get updates from him. It was at a pace that I wouldn’t have necessarily done but it was at least steady like the tortoise instead of the erratic tendency of the hare.

I get this great news text that he had found a program that would help both with his GED and get job training. Over the following couple of weeks I would get a text asking for fatherly advice, like I need to go to this job interview and my GED program leader isn’t letting me go. He asked, “What do I do?” I said try to change the interview. He then replies, “The program guy continues to be a pain in the but and doesn’t want me to miss anything of his and not get the job.”

I’m taken back by the inflexible way of this guy. Nate needs a job and the ability to stay focused in finishing his GED. The challenge is that he is someone that will eventually respond negatively to this guy’s way of treating him. It was clear this guy demanded everything but did little himself to help. So I told Nate let’s meet and come up with a plan that will rock the world.

So as I am finishing a meeting with a friend at Starbucks so I quickly text Nate and get an instant response – READY – let’s go. So I pull up to his house and he jumps into my truck. We start to talk about his situation and some simple things he can do. I was originally going to stop at IHOP or something but instead we pull up to Jack and go inside. I needed to get some real food instead of just injesting coffee. We order a couple of good breakfasts and sit down at a high table with tall chairs.

I try to get into his mind and provide an avenue for him to share his passion in life and what he really wants to do. He shares that doesn’t like to conform to anyone and has a tough time with writing because he only writes Nate speak and also sucks at math. Both of these disciplines he acknowledges will take real time and effort to master. I continue to focus him on what is really the point of his existence. He shares his radical political thoughts and desire to oust most politicians. I ask the real question – why now – why care to do something instead of just hanging like everyone else?

The response I get is totally mind blowing and amazing. He looks at me and says I need to do all of this so I can support my MOM. I don’t want her to work much longer and she has always given me everything I need. Wow – I couldn’t have bribed him enough cash or a new basketball to get him to say this perfect response. He actually cares for his mom and wants to do something about it. I share with him that what he is saying is so reflective of the gospel and how God wants to be part of our lives and love us in a real way. I said your mom has been laying her life down so that you might have a real life. I come back to Christ’s way of loving us by giving his all that we can have a real life

So we come up with a plan. He’s going to the local community college to plug into a GED class. I will help him start blogging or writing and we will find some geometry workbooks to help with the math thing. As we are finishing our breakfast we get up and drive off in the truck. As we are sitting in front of his house it strikes me that Nate actually is my friend now. I almost had to boot him out of my truck so I can go see Grandpa and get ready for the rest of my day

I’m proud of my man Nate who is going to get his GED and rock the world.