I know that God is a god of like 2nd chances even to the 7x7 chances ala Peter the Fisherman turned disciple. I try to help people see that God’s love isn’t based upon our performance or the notion that there are some more worthy recipients of grace and mercy. This means that there are then some who aren’t worthy of God’s forgiveness in any circumstance. Clearly this is ‘bad theology’ where the notion of total depravity has been replaced by a good works or ‘good looks’ theology.
I am presently in the middle of helping/mentoring a couple of young men that are post high school and have made some poor choices in life which put them outside the normal setting. I know that being unemployed at 21 or 28 is a tough situation. Especially if you are living at home with mom and don’t have much of a life. (Yeah passing the AIMS test determines your career path, i.e. job at McDonalds or no job in some circumstances without a diploma or GED.) It is easy for most to see guys like this and call them LAZY BUMS. All they do is shoot hoops and play PS3. As my wife would say why can’t I live off the system and not have to get up each morning at 4:30am and have to work instead of reading all day and pretend to have some malady.
I have been around both of these families for the last 4 years. They have many challenges and obstacles before them that could totally short-circuit their sense of hope for the future. I have to been honest and say that at times I do get frustrated for lack of action and the ongoing tendency of making poor choices that impact not just their lives but everyone around them. (This is especially true if you happen to have a few youngsters.)
I was raised to have a sense of pride in how I look and come across. This wasn’t as a means to put down others or think that I am better, but just simple hygiene lessons from the cradle to now old age. So when I encounter someone, especially a guy, who hasn’t bathed or shaved in a few days or a week, it bugs me. I also know that unfortunately the way someone dressed does communicate to the world around them who they are. So if you dress like a gang-banger the assumption is that you are a gangster type. If you look like a prostitute, then you might get asked the obvious, whether that was your intention or not.
This last week I was literally blown away by one of these guys who I typically have a low opinion of, shame on me. He hasn’t been great at following through, being responsible for himself and then getting that he should be a help not a burden to a mom and younger siblings who need some love and real help. I am totally spoiled to have an amazing wife/girl friend for life who is always there. I can’t fathom what it would be like to be hooked up with a guy that was lazy, sloppy and unemployed with a host of excuses to explain why his life is a mess.
Over a year ago I had asked a close friend who is a Marine, Captain, to mentor this young man. I knew that my friend Pete would ultimately want to chew up this guy and watch him put back the pieces to his life. I have to admit that after a year or so of Pete being gone this guy hadn’t made any progress but most likely was ready to crash and burn again. He seemed to be stuck in neutral and always had a rather interesting list of excuses to defend his inaction
He actually texted me and asked if we could get together. I was shocked – he was the initiator not me for a change. I knew that he had broken up or had a fight with his girlfriend/ex-wife or mother of his kids. I went by his house to pick him up and was shocked to see him dressed for success to take on the world. This was one of the first times I had seen him not looking like a Homey ready to take on the opposing gang in his neighborhood. He actually had goals and a gleam in his eye. I was jazzed that he had followed through with getting a grant for going to school and would soon be getting a job.
We talked about a real plan that would help him learn to be a better person, better dad and reconnect with the mothers of his kids. I know that eating humble pie isn’t part of my DNA so I couldn’t expect him to be much different. As we left I sensed that he was starting to really GET IT! Wow – God really does shower his love on those who really need it whether they are perceived as worthy recipients. I’m proud of my friend and I know that he is going to
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