I have to admit that I sometimes don’t like answering my
cell. I know that God crafted voice mail to allow me to ‘filter’ what calls I
should respond to and others that can wait. My real reason for not always being
quick to respond to certain callers is that I know they might be the bearers of
‘bad news’. I will never forget the call from my Dad at 3AM, I usually don’t
answer at that hour, but I knew most likely it was the inevitable call about my
mom’s passing. As I answered it was my dad and I knew exactly what he was going
to say. Yet, as I listened it was definitely a sad call but glorious in the way
that my dad shared the story. He was on a spiritual high that I know was a
byproduct of the heavenly host taking my mom to her real home. My dad was on a
spiritual high for weeks following. I instead was in tears and heart broken.
(Tears continue to come even five years after her leaving.)
I had been playing phone tag with a new friend whose cell is
from St. Louis MO. He and his wife are going to help us in the summer as they
get a better sense of God’s direction in their lives. So when I saw the 314
area code, I assumed it might be from him. Yet, as I go back to respond, I was
in the middle of doing my monthly update, I realize that it is from my Aunt
Elaine. I know that the news she has to share is about our Aunt Alice who is
106 ready to turn in a week 107. I had been expecting this call actually for
the last couple of years. Al seemed to stare death in the face and continue to
win.
I do feel horrible, even though my Aunt rebuked me, for not
coming out to see AL over the last few years. I was blessed to see her
consistently for a couple of years when I was first doing networking with New
City Fellowship in St. Louis. I had the great excuse to go out four times over
a year or so and always would go see her. I am so glad that my parents made one
last trip before my mom’s health went totally down. It gave me an opportunity
to see St. Louis through the eyes of my mom and dad.
As I write this tribute to Al it’s not that I saw her that
often through out my 58 years. She was always someone who chose, whether I did
or not, to stay in touch. She was the one who sent Birthday Cards, Christmas
Cards and other occasions type of cards that I know kept Hallmark in business
during her life time. Her sister, my Grandma Miller, would come out every year
for a few week’s visit. So Grandma Miller was truly part of my life. I can
remember a few times when really young going to their old Province house that
was then in a bad neighborhood. I won’t repeat some of the things that I
learned about racial strife through this experience, but it did open my eyes
and in many ways has given me a passion for being part of racial reconciliation
in action.
Al’s claim to fame, this really is something worth bragging
about, was being a quilter. I didn’t know this until our visit to St. Louis with
my mom, dad and my family. Elaine, who had been her home for most of her life
since the death of my Grandma Miller, is the one who showed us Al’s
masterpiece. I’m not much of a crafts person, I do love photography, so I had
little appreciation for the amount of time that is required to plan out a quilt
and then actually do it. Al had designed a quilt that was a deck of cards. I
have no clue as to why she would have done this, maybe she loved playing cards
or…. Yet, the precision in which this quilt was put together was totally
amazing!
Elaine had sent pictures to a quilting magazine that
ultimately did an article about Al and the quilt, which is now famous and will
be in some quilting museum. The amazing part in my life with Al was that she
cared and never stopped. I can’t say this with other of my relatives because
there have always issues that have separated us for the silly things in life. I
can remember doing the funeral for Grandma Dotson and could see the lines drawn
in the group that attended by how they chose to sit in the funeral home. I can
laugh at this now but looking back it wasn’t something laughable.
Al was given a green thumb by God, the master gardener and
you could see it in the garden that was always planted in her and Mil’s
backyard or for the last 30 years in Elaine’s backyard. I will always remember
the squirrels and cardinals that would always flock to the back porch in Elaine
and Jack’s house. Al had this special sense about her that seemed to draw an
assortment of animals. I have memories of her with peanuts in her mouth that
both birds and squirrels would retrieve!
I didn’t mention that Al was a rather small person, actually
even smaller than my Heather or Anne. I know that the adage that great thing
comes in small packages was made for her. She always had a smile on her face
and something about her that would draw you to her. She was the type of person
that would always be quick to help or ask if there was anything she could do
for you. My only regret in life is that I couldn’t be around her more so my
kids could have some of the green thumb rub off. My Anne and I are animal
people so they all have the animal knack as part of their DNA.
My dad grew up between two families where he at times was
left out. I know that my dad as he got older most likely has had Dementia for
the last 15 years or so, which translates into him not being the easiest person
to be around when he disagreed with you. I mention this to highlight the heart
and commitment of Elaine, my dad’s sister, who adored and looked up to her older
brother, even though he left home when she was still very young. My dad turned
into a Bible thumping right wing type and my aunt was the opposite, which made
it at times difficult for real communication. I also have to admit that I react
to the ‘Ditto Heads’ out there in radio land. Alice seemed to be the one that
could draw us together regardless of our religious or political bias.
As I arrange my Southwest Flight for next week I don’t know
who will be at Al’s funeral? There are at least four or five that are still
alive. I know that my Heather would love to come. I forgot to mention that one
of Elaine’s loves has been to trace the family history of the Provience Family
for generations past. My Heather has also developed an interest in doing
genealogical work for our families.
I will always remember Al’s smile, her big glasses and her
frail frame but sturdy side that made her a great cook, gardener and lover of
God’s amazing creation in her backyard! I will miss my special Aunt and Friend,
Alice Provience.
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