Why?

I’m always shocked, surprised and taken back when someone goes on a rampage and kills a group of people and then shoots themself.  The tragic thing in this situation was that a baby was killed as this madman militia type goes crazy. If this wasn’t enough to get update texts about this neighborhood that would appear to be suburb middle class then a very well known retired football player kills himself for no apparent reason. He sends a text to his family, “I Love you.” Why do things like this continue to happen? I know I can give a theological response that would give a reason; man is totally broken, sinful and incapable of understanding mercy and grace. Yet, one cry or plea of help and I do believe that God will intervene.

As we are in total shock in our neighborhood or world we hear about this blind Chinese Poet who is attempting to escape from China and seek asylum in the US. He has pleaded with the US to have his family protected as he found some hope in the US Embassy. We live in the land of plenty, yet so many continue to do crazy things which totally displace their families and remind us that life is fragile and needs to be protected.

I know that one of the most difficult times in my life was receiving a phone call from my dad almost 5 years ago when my mom died. We knew that her time was short and that everyday with her was truly a gift. She had battled cancer for over a decade and taught all of us the value of life and the goal to live each day without regrets. Now to hear more and more of these rampage shootings makes it difficult to fathom why a person would purposely take the life of another and then kill themselves.

As I mention these bizarre incidents I have a friend whose son continues to struggle with his life. Each day is a choice to stay alive or? He lost his brother at a young age to a drunk driver accident. He also experienced an unfortunate situation where a drunk stepped into traffic and he hit him and killed him.  The trauma from these real life situations have pushed him to the edge. He has been on too many medications over the last five years to think or act intelligently.  He has on occasion hurt himself in a way that his mother can’t comprehend the why? How in the world can pain help cover up inner pain?

 I am around lots of people who have lots of conflict in life but with little hope of resolve in their lives. I have a close friend who was just released from jail for serving time for a fine he was unable to pay. While he was in jail his ex-wife takes his car, without permission and totals it. She doesn’t explain why or give the circumstances of what happened. He goes to get his other older vehicle smogged and it fails not once but now four times. He is still waiting for our mechanic friend to perform a miracle or I will have to give this old SUV its last rites. Yes, it would be too easy for this good friend to go off. Yet, he hasn’t, why?

What determines whether someone chooses to stay in the battle and fight and struggle in a life preserving fashion instead of throwing in the towel? I have a group of sisters in my group that range in age from 7 to 16 years of age. They are now living with dad and recovering from their mom being killed in an apparent suicide crash with another friend. They have grown up with a mom on crack that was always living outside of the norm. She was usually gone and not around. She was a very beautiful woman who would get the attention of anyone when she walked by. Now I have the privilege of being a special friend to her youngest, Mi-Mi or Michelle. This little girl would woo the heart of anyone. Yet, a mom decided to get high with a friend and then go for a drive with the intention of crashing and exiting this life.

I know there is a tension in life, when it comes to what makes a person feel or perceive themselves as being successful or a total zero. I know valuing life is not part of all culture or people groups. I just finished reading a book about the first individual to escape a labor camp in North Korea. (Escape from Camp 14) This is an incredible story because it clearly shows what it would be like to grow up in a world that doesn’t value but de-values all life. It was too easy to snitch on a family member to save your own life or to fabricate stories that saw the hanging or shooting of a supposed friend to only get treated better by someone else higher in command.

I know that difficult circumstances force me to continue to rethink the big questions about life. I know that ‘pat’ answers or a plastic smile from someone doesn’t usually fix anything. I know that getting old can be a drag but it does give me a vantage point to see that life’s ups and downs can make sense when we understand the mystery of life and the reality that we all at some point will die. The question many will ask is whether we are living each day to the max or waiting for that something to happen so we can experience life to the max. So it is tragic when someone selfishly takes their life in order to escape the consequences of their life choices.  I am learning that life is an incredible gift ,which I need to nurture, protect and share. The challenge is that I’m selfish, stubborn and at times mean if I don’t get instant gratification.

Yes, a day like yesterday puts life in perspective. The great news for me is that life is worth living and the God who created the universe and me, is alive, real and there for you right now!