Great intentions don't always help!

It always surprises me, when it shouldn’t, that it’s so easy to have good intentions that end up offending someone else and backfiring. I chuckle when I get a call from someone who I know is going to complain or just vent. This initially is too easy to always take personally, yet, after some time you figure out that you had nothing to do with the situation and that your friend is just confiding in you with the hope of getting help. The difficulty is that this usually involves multiple friends who usually are able to see through differences but in this situation there is a clear misunderstanding.

It has been interesting helping an older teen this week that has a job that requires her to be up way too early. I know that in the past this individual would never be someone to get out of bed without much assistance. After a few days she is actually able to be up and moving around 5 am. What’s fascinating is how a person’s attitude and perception changes when they are venerable. This gal is someone in the past that would be quick to overact at times. I’m so proud of her ability today to be thankful for help and have a great attitude in working.

I know that at times I have spoken too quickly about someone else’s circumstances only to discover that I have outstepped my boundaries. It is always very difficult to back peddle and attempt to explain yourself after putting your foot in your mouth. It is much better to either apologize quickly and recognize your blunder and realize that next time I’d better just bite my tongue! Self-restraint isn’t necessarily something that I practice often.

Does this mean that I shouldn’t show concern and attempt to care for someone? Absolutely, not! Instead I need to be better at accessing situations and be more realistic about the journey of asking questions and even more important listening before I attempt to give advice. Often it is giving advice that turns a relationship sour. It’s much better when I wait for that friend to actually ask for help or advice. So I believe it’s great to be all about having good intentions but make sure those intentions are based upon circumstances that ask for a listening ear and a helping hand.