Ask! The worst that can happen is someone says NO!

One of the important keys to life and discovering your passion is that you have to ask for help. The challenge is that this will become a daily occurrence if you are going to push yourself to see your dreams become reality. The downside is that very few like to ask for help and easily get discouraged when someone says NO. Yet, the amazing upside of life is that often you will discover a few that will step up to help and hopefully become a mentor or a special friend!

So what stops you and me from asking? Is it that difficult to open your mouth and ask someone to talk about their passion in life? Usually most will jump at the opportunity to help out and make a new friend. The other obstacle too often is our fear that we might be looked down at if we acknowledge that we don’t know everything and need assistance.

Life coaching has become a fad over the last decade. Clearly many of us, myself included, do need coaching as we live through our life experiences. I have been helping a good friend who is a dad and has a great wife along with three little ones. He is in the process of getting his first paying church position. He needed some help from the old guy, that’s me, to navigate the waters of asking the right questions and also positioning himself to get the best opportunity for his family. We spent many hours messaging and on the phone. The end result is that we learned together more about sensing the right fit for him and his family and the ability to ask the tough questions. The end result was that one door was closed and the right door remained open!

I had another friend recently ask to talk with me. I’m so quick at times to assume that means someone is about to ‘chew’ on me for a little. Instead I was saddened to hear news about cancer. The pursuing conversation was private but showed me again the difficultly for anyone, regardless of age, race or educational level, to be transparent and honest enough to ask for help. I was so glad that he had the courage to share his heart.

So what are some simple steps to be better at asking and also better at listening and helping? This is rather basic and simple but the first time you take a risk and ask for help, regardless of the context, you have a great opportunity to discover that most people care and are willing to help. So think through your list of family and friends that know you and have experience with your present situation. It’s best to ask face to face and avoid texting, e-mail or messaging on FB. Surprise, I’ve discovered that this usually works. Your friend or family will see you genuinely reaching out for help. Next, listen and don’t say much as you desire a relationship that has the power to help.

If you have someone approach you and they seem as if they are struggling to express themselves be gentle and kind in helping them share their heart. It’s key not to come off as if you are the expert with everything in life. Share your life experiences in little bits and pieces and keep them actively involved in the conversation. As you finish take the time to summarize and give at most a couple of suggestions. The clear need often is not an answer but a listening ear and caring heart.

The reason why most people don’t get help is that they are too afraid to do something as simple as ASK!