Forgiveness is impossible to do without first having
experienced forgiveness and grace! The oft quoted ‘to err is human and to
forgive is divine’ is so true. My natural inclination isn’t to forgive but to
seek revenge or just out right explosion of anger and hatred. I’ve recently had
a couple of friends who have lost loved ones to unfortunate gang violence where
the innocent bystander who is the ‘good guy’ just happens to be at the wrong place
at the wrong time.
I know that the outcome of the Dylan Roof intentional massacre
of the nine during a Bible Study at Emmanuel AME Church in Charleston shocked
everyone. I listened to the verbal expression of forgiveness of the family members
of the nine that were murdered. Their forgiveness didn’t excuse nor minimalize
the heinousness of the crime but ultimately showed their relationship with God that
gave them the power to forgive. The end result isn’t that their loved ones are
brought back but they can experience a peace that frees them to live without
being consumed by anger and hatred.
The power of forgiveness is difficult to describe unless you
have personally experienced it. I listened to a young teen express their heart
ache over a ‘bio dad’ that had continually hurt their mother and them. The ‘bio
dad’s’ hope was to see his teen respond when he said ‘I love you’. The
difficulty is that this teen couldn’t bring themselves to say something that
they didn’t mean. We talked about the fundamentals of forgiveness. Why forgive
someone who is truly evil and has caused real harm and damage?
The difficulty is that everything inside you wants to scream
out WHY and it’s not fair. The hurt and damage has been done so why would
anyone choose to forgive someone who is truly unrepentant? Yet, the damage that
has been done in the past will just be multiplied by your unwillingness to
forgive. The sad reality is that the anger, hatred and bitterness that are the
byproduct of the evil that has been done to you end up controlling you. Yes,
the more you think about and allow the past to impact your present life the
hurt of this individual continues.
The most amazing experience in life is to come to grips with
your own brokenness and hurt you have caused to others. I know as a young
Christian I didn’t comprehend the hurt I had caused to God and my parents over
my rebellious choices in life. As I learned by the example of friends that
being able to verbalize my faults or sins helped me see my need for God’s
forgiveness. The power of grace is incredible. Why would God forgive me when I
don’t deserve any type of pardon? Why is it the case that God chooses to
continue to forgive me when I haven’t learned my life lessons?
As I listened to this teen talk about their life experience
I knew that forgiveness wasn’t necessarily what he wanted to see happen. Yet, amid
the anger and pain of the past the teen could see that he/she had to decide.
This decision would color the rest of their life! The ‘bio dad’ in prison clearly has the hope that when he is
released he could reunite with his teen(s).
The power of forgiveness helps you or I let go of the past
that has controlled us to be free to experience a life that can make a
difference. The tragedy of not forgiving is that you might end up committing a
similar type of offense as what happened to you because of the anger and
bitterness that has grown up in your life. The impact on the individual who
harmed you potentially is amazing. Your choice to show grace and mercy instead
of hatred will ultimately touch this person’s life. The byproduct of you
stepping out and taking a risk is that the cycle of hurt can stop.
I agree that forgiveness doesn’t guarantee my teen friend’s
future with his dad. Yet, the power that forgiveness will play in this teen’s
life is ‘priceless’!
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