Don’t wait to say I Love YOU!

I was so mad at myself over the last month because I choose to be busy instead of being a real friend to someone who was dying. It’s so easy to be busy doing what is perceived as a good thing but miss what is more important in life. I allowed myself to believe the excuse in my mind that said they’re an older couple and don’t want to be bothered so it’s ok. Guess what it wasn’t OK! I had little awareness that my special friend over the last 20 years was gravely ill and that his days were close to the end on this earth.

I know that the sad story of a GCU mom that had allowed her one daughter to visit her older daughter at Grand Canyon University ends on a somber note. Clearly the sisters and their mom were very close. The mom had no idea that her good-bye hug and kiss to her daughter who flew to Phoenix would be her last. I have cried often over the last week as I think of this tragedy of another wrong way driver killing someone on the freeway. I know that it’s close to impossible to go to bed at night and be at peace with everyone, yet, it’s an incredible goal to make sure that you have a good or working relationship with family and close friends.

My mom who died of cancer has left a lasting impression on me as I would visit her on a monthly-basis. (I lived in Phoenix and she in San Diego.) She would always tell me before I left that she loved me, appreciated me as her son and that she didn’t want me to suffer or be sad over her impending death. She had a genuine faith and the ability to inspire me. Her death was horrible as she suffered in acute pain, yet, she taught me a little about how to suffer and relate back to family and friends in a beautiful fashion.

I know that it’s rather difficult to face my own mortality and truly believe that I’m not invincible and that ‘stuff’ like cancer or bad accidents only happens to other people and myself. As I walked grandma Bernice to her car last night after our discussion about showing respect to our grandparents it struck me that my good-bye could be the last. She joked around with one of our little guys, Frankie, who is cute for being a little guy. Yet, I will never forget crazy Mary another close friend who I lost touch because of her being ill over a long period of time. I was heart sick when I visited the senior center to discover she had passed. I was fortunate to have her daughter contact me because she wanted to personally tell me about her mom.

As I consider my older friends who have be a special part of my life I’m thankful that we have good relationships that are based upon real trust and seldom argue or fight. Yet, I know that it won’t be too long before I have a message about Grandma Mary who is 93 and has been so faithful. My hope is to be better at saying I love you and thanks for your care to me and my kids!

The bigger picture is that someday soon I’ll be the old guy who might be forgotten and left alone. I truly don’t want that and hope that I’m not to crotchety!