Yes!

I know most of you understand the adage, when it rains it pours. Also most talk about ‘bad things’ happening in threes. I know that most people assume that I’m a hard guy that can face anything and not be bothered a whole lot. Yet, the truth is, that I do have a heart and often cry and feel inadequate when it comes to knowing what to do or not do. Life does through curve balls and surprises all of the time.

It was a couple of weeks ago that we took one of our older teens out for breakfast for her birthday. It was something that she wanted so she asked her mom if it was ok to come and also be a little late to her first period class. You only turn 18 once! We purposely said that we didn’t want anyone else to come so we could have alone time with her. We went to IHOP and had a great breakfast and awesome time just talking about life. We also gave her a silly Birthday Card with some cash. We got her back to school about 30 minutes late.

The following week we find out that the mom is mad at us for her being late to class and blames us acting as if we hadn’t communicated what would happen? This isn’t the first time this mom has done something that doesn’t make any sense at all. The last time it took a few months before she changed her mind and allowed her daughters to return and be involved with New City events. This totally frustrates me because our goal has been to partner with this single mom who struggles all of the time and help her be a better parent and not replace her.

The real story behind this blog has to do with a family we have been around the longest since moving to South Phoenix almost 6 years ago. This brother and sister have been around us the most and have lived with us on and off over the last 3 years. We have helped in little and big ways over the years. The mom has a tough time accepting help and typically reacts to me as if I’m out to bash her and make her kids want to stay with us and not her. There is some truth in this but I tire of seeing latch key kids being left all of the time without a home, food, clothing or…..

Over the last couple of months the brother in this family left school and decided to be on his own to get away from his mom. I was a little frustrated with his choice to ditch all of us and pretend to be independent. I literally don’t hear from him for 2 months until he texts and asks for some money. I react to his request because of his not talking to me for a long time and having done a few questionable things that made it difficult to not feel like I was being used. We work through this and he actually comes and works with me for a morning and gets his cash for his ID, which was a good thing.

This last Sunday I pick up his sister and her friend to come to my house to get ready for church. I get a text asking if it is ok for them to bring their stuff. I didn’t realize that they were being ‘kicked’ out of their present housing situation. I also didn’t know that the mom was coming with us also. I had received a call from a temp agency about a good job for this mom but as usual her phone was off and my phone becomes her substitute. We all end up in the truck with a few of their bags full of clothes and then end up at our house. I kinda of sensed what was coming down but no one had actually come out and asked if they could stay with us.

We do church and afterwards have a dinner at my house with a large group. After we get through with clean up and taking everyone home it’s time to talk. I unfortunately don’t have the best track record with this mom. She tends to overreact to me and I end up not knowing what to do. I tell my Anne maybe she should talk and I’ll disappear. I wait and wait expecting her to come to me.

Anne drags me out of my office and we end up sitting around the kitchen table. I could tell this was really tough on this mom. She was in tears and does something that was beautiful, she admits to her mess and asks for real help. She acknowledges that she has made some poor choices and that it’s time to do it right. I was humbled by her sharing and openness to listen to Anne and me. This was a first for her to actually ask in person and not just have her kids be her messenger. I know that all of her normal contacts are no longer good for a place to stay. She admits that most of her friends aren’t the best for her and her daughter.

As we finish our time together with a word of prayer I’m blown away by how God has worked a miracle. I know how much emotional energy it took for this mom to even talk, ask for help and then have her daughter present. Yes, she got a good job that might lead to a permanent situation. I still fear this mom disappearing like in the past while leaving her daughter for us to watch and help. I don’t mind helping but don’t want to be the sub for parent. I’m so thankful to God for the work of grace that enables those of us who are very different to work together and genuinely care for one another.