I Could Scream or I Did Already

I usually don’t have emotional meltdowns too often. I know that at times God will throw me a zinger and I will have to adjust, grow up and ultimately just suck it up. I am use to people disappointing me and know that being a people pleaser just doesn’t work. I also understand the tensions that exist between different people groups, religious groups and siblings. So last night wasn’t a surprise it was the timing that bugged me BIG TIME.

I have been involved with Habitat for Humanity since the middle 90’s. I was blessed to be part of a relatively new board on the East side. I was part of doing approximately 40 builds over that time. I was president of the board and then chairmen of the board during my time of involvement. We eventually merged with the larger affiliate because of going after the same donors and logistics. I discovered even during this experience that different styles of leadership and working with different people groups always meant the possibility of little tiffs or out right big fights.

So as I share what pushed my button last night it was more about the little person who is trying to help his community than an outsider trying to get his way. We had birthed our tutoring program through using a couple of the houses that had been set aside by Stardust Foundation for the use of this Habitat community. I was fortunate to maneuver through the cultural differences initially between a totally Hispanic board that was first generation and a director for the Stardust House that wanted to help bring the board into the 21^st century. The challenge was that from the beginning I knew that as an outsider that I didn’t really have any say in decisions made regarding my presence in the community. So I knew deep down inside that the board could change members and I could end up being asked to leave or not allowed to use the park for big events for our group and the community.

We had done a Christmas Party over the last 3 years at this habitat park with the permission of the community. I had gotten a certificate of insurance, gave a deposit and even paid for a porta jon to be delivered even though it was never used. So I knew that asking permission to use the park this year would probably be a clear NO. Yet, my partner, Pastor Pablo, who lives in this community, assured me that it wouldn’t be a problem. So I relayed this info back to my board and my partners who help with this incredible Christmas party where all of my kids and grandmas get presents, have a great BBQ and then have a celebration.

I’m not sure why the board would give a response to Pablo’s written request but they didn’t. I was under the wrong assumption that because they didn’t say no and I have given them everything they asked that it was a no. Because they hadn’t gotten back to me quickly I pushed the date for the party another week out. I didn’t want to get stuck paying for things that we might not use. So when I get a phone call after the board meeting last night I knew that it wouldn’t be good news. I knew that Pastor Pablo would be frustrated and upset with a few on the board.

I admit that I was very upset not with the NO answer but the fact that they put this off until a week or so before the event. I hadn’t handed out flyers yet but will in the next day or say. I can’t believe how the board treated one of their own members. They discussed this party in the park and asked Pablo, a board member, to leave the room and not be allowed to vote on it. This is what infuriates me and I will talk to their property manager person to see why he allowed this to happen. It was rather tragic to see a decision to bless or not bless the community be based upon bias and religious differences between a certain religious group and a different one and not upon the CC&R documents.

I can remember attending a larger Habitat meeting in Phoenix that was to referee a fight between the two larger affiliates. I had never heard the word poaching to describe unethical practices of fund raising. There was a fight between these groups as to where they could fund raise. It was a discussion of whether the different affiliates could fund raise outside of their particular area. I was shocked to see the tension between these individuals. So little surprises me these days and it causes me to tire of the bias and prejudice of most, myself included, who tend to use their positions of service for either power brokering or getting even with people they don’t like.

Yes, we will have a Christmas party at a different park and it will bless our group largely. Pablo wants me to hand out flyers to his neighborhood to still invite those who would like to come. I understand more how I grieve my God on many occasions when I too am selfish and not thinking about the impact of my decision on others.