I have to admit that a cold or flu bug can totally rock my
world and force me to rethink my inner sense of what is really important in
life. I know that too often I base my assessment of someone by their actions
not by what they say. Don’t get me wrong I do so much appreciate a great
sermon, interesting discussion group or a great book. I have been sick most of
this week. As I was checking e-mail I discovered a new book written by someone
who I hadn’t heard of before. He’s becoming a well-received communicator
because of his crazy youth and his choice to never quit or give up on himself
or the pursuit of finding his family.
I know that many love a flowery writing style where the
object is to see how you can describe something in at least 10 extra words. I’m
not opposed to saying that the sunrise, which is glaring through the smudgy
window at my Starbucks, makes it almost impossible to see my laptop screen. I’m
not sure whether this is a key point to what I’m going to write about but it
can sound great and make me look good because of increasing my vocabulary
choices. Yet, I’m not convinced that this has aided me in the pursuit of my
goal to talk about what is most important in life.
I had time, which is usually not easy for me to take to read
non-stop through a new book written by someone who grew up without a family in
a very abusive foster home. His passion to stay alive, rise up above his
circumstances and still want to pursue his real family is inspirational. I
would hope that I would have the same passion to help some of my teens and
adults who face similar life circumstances. I was very fortunate to grow up
with amazing parents who usually gave me everything I wanted, which wasn’t
always good. My dad did teach me lots about hard work, pursuing excellence and
learning to use both my brains and brawns. My mom taught me about social skills
and was always the one to push me into the middle of people and force me to
open up and be quick to make new friends.
My simple lesson today is that sometimes it takes a bad head
cold or the flu to force me to stop. Yes, I mean stop and rethink what is
really important today. This doesn’t mean that I stop doing everything in my
life but take a breather and give myself time to catch my breath. I know that
reading ‘A Chance in the World’ is that breather I needed to get perspective on
my life, what’s important as I relate back to my adult kids and my incredible
wife.
I know that my dad grew up in a similar context as Steve
Pemberton. He did have a mom and dad but they were divorced when he was a
little kid and then both remarried and he was the bastard that was forgotten. I
had little idea of how horrible my dad’s life was until after my mom died from
a 10year battle with cancer. I knew that Grandpa Miller was rough on my dad and
did his best to stop him from succeeding in life. My dad’s response to this was
to fight harder to be at the top of his game in school, gymnastics and
swimming.
What is remarkable about my dad is that the scars from his
youth never touched my life. I can’t remember one time in my life that my dad
lost his temper totally and lashed out at me to get rid of anger or hatred that
could have been stored up for decades. If anything he sought the path of
peaceful resolve with a smile and assurance that I didn’t have anything to fear
in life. I know that as I care for my dad in his later years that he continues
to love me as if I am the most important person in his life. I learned so much
from my dad when it came to accepting people for who they are and see beyond
the race and prejudice that is there. He grew up in a neighborhood that went
from being all White to all Black. His extended family became very prejudice
against African Americans yet as a kid growing up I never heard my dad use the
N word or saying anything negative.
I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to read and
understand a little of the life story of Mr. Pemberton. I know that I long to
better understand how to help my son or daughter, who are adopted, to better
grasp the circumstances around their lives. I know that not having your birth
parents living makes it tough to understand your DNA or maybe it doesn’t matter
after all? I know that Mr. Pemberton initially was saddened to see how his
larger family didn’t really care that much about him. It was later when he
meets his ‘lost’ brother that everything changes. I’m thrilled to have my kid’s
Grandma Mary in our lives. Yet, she comes out of a different generation and won’t
be with us too much longer so the little things about my two will soon be gone.
I know that my mom’s passing after a decade battle with
cancer and my dad’s present journey with Dementia has forced me to come to
grips with my own life and my need to care better for my family. The choices I
make today are important for shaping a better tomorrow.
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