Words - Matter!

I will never forget one of New City’s first-time to do skating at Skateland in Mesa. We had a good-sized group that was most of our kids. I know that there is always a potential for little tiffs to erupt between our kids and teens. The skating rink was packed because it was a Saturday afternoon. We were finishing up our 2-hour session when I hear someone scream out loudly that there were two girls fighting.

As I approach the scene with these two gals pulling hair and screaming rather foul language back and forth I get in the middle of it and they stop.  As everyone is cooling off I finally ask someone that witnessed the whole thing what happened. I was shocked to hear what caused the fight. One of the teens called the other teen out by saying she had ‘chicken legs’. I react quickly and ask what in the world does it mean when you say someone has chicken legs?

As the day finished and everyone was dropped off I thought to myself was it really worth it to fight over someone saying you have skinny legs that are ugly? I know that as a kid growing up my mom would always tell me that sticks and stones can really hurt someone but don’t let words get to you. I knew that deep down inside that it was just as painful for someone to say that you have chicken legs then punch you in the face.

I understand that words are powerful and more than capable of persuading someone to do good or do evil. I can remember being persuaded as a young teen that shoplifting wasn’t wrong because the prices for the sheet music at the small town music store were way to expensive. I can remember when doing construction work and discovering that a few of my fellow foremen were stealing lumber and selling it on the weekend that I cautioned them. The response I got was not something I can repeat because I was the white foreman and more favored by the owners.

I know that I at times will do something or say something that won’t be popular with some at times. I don’t purposely go out of my way to bash someone but desire to see God’s grace and mercy help in tough circumstances. I know that one of the most difficult things in life is to not get the last word in an argument. I have watched myself too often spend more time thinking about my response to someone instead of hearing what they have to say.

I often will use James’ letter to highlight our need to be slower to speak out and quicker to listen. I think it is fascinating that James pegs the issue with talking about how anger and getting the last word in are so connected. I know that losing my cool ultimately won’t accomplish anything. I might feel better if I can get my point across or emotionally be up because I think I’ve won a verbal battle.

The reality, which I have to confess, is that too often too much talk ends up hurting everyone and the real issue at hand isn’t addressed at all. I know that my Anne will be quick to say that too many F bombs exploding just goes to show how shallow and limited we are in our vocabulary and real understanding in life issues. I know that bitterness and anger only continue to mount on the inside when we choose not to deal with our own circumstances. I know that the book of Proverbs says lots about how the right words can end up helping put a life back together.

The issue is that I have to be willing to admit that my words I choose do reflect my real person and heart. Yes, I get angry with people who attack me because I too am human and don’t have that thick of a hide. I also know that any animal pushed into a corner is going to defend its’ self regardless of who is right or wrong. So what do I do when it comes to the use of words? Do I seek to look better than someone because I’ve been trained to communicate and control my temper? Do I talk someone into a corner where I know I can make them look bad or push them to embrace my view?

I know what it is like to have someone pick a verbal fight with me over issues, which are really important, knowing that I have to respond. So I agree that we have to quit arguing about immigration and make real steps to resolve the problem. I know that the NRA and gun control proponents are going to fight it out on Capitol. The issues at hand are real people are being impacted by our unwillingness to talk about the real issues and take credible steps to make life better for all. Yet, I know that I selfishly want things my way so it isn’t easy to see compromise and resolve happen.

Yeah, I don’t like being called old, skinny, grey or going bald. Yet, the reality is that I’m old, I’m not skinny but I’m grey and might go bald when I’m in my 70’s. I’m thankful that my God has chosen to talk to me in a personal fashion where I know he sees beyond the false exterior games I play in life!