Maybe or Later = Never? It's better to say YES or NO!

I know growing up as a kid the last thing I ever wanted my mom or dad to say when I asked for something was maybe or later. The obvious intention of the parents in this situation was to soften the blow of the NO word. Yet, as I have grown up the last thing I want to hear from a colleague, friend or family member is a maybe or later when I need their help, input or attention now. My mom would always tell me as a little kid growing up to never put off till tomorrow what I can do today. The reality unfortunately is that most people would rather put off or use that maybe or later as a way to avoid commitment or honest communication.

The problem is that maybe or later often becomes an excuse to avoid facing life circumstances where you can actually grow and see life improve. I will be the first to admit that I lived too much of my life waiting for that proverbial something to happen. I have learned so much in the last decade about being a doer and not someone that says maybe. I work around a lot of kids and seniors and the last thing that either want to hear is a maybe. If you aren’t going to act on what you have said then why make any promise?

What’s amazing is that when you are able to say no that might just free you up to have the time to do something with your life that will be exciting, important and meaningful. It does take more energy as a parent to use the NO word, especially when it represents delayed gratification. Yet, often the best things in life are well worth waiting for when we follow through and actually do them. The challenge often for me is stepping back and taking more control of my time management realizing that when I say a real yes or no, not maybe, great things can happen in my life and those around me that I really love. The difficulty when I say maybe or make up excuses is that it hurts those I do care about and puts me in an awkward situation where I feel guilty and could end up avoiding that kid, teen or grandma.

What causes someone to live in the ‘maybe mode’? Is it that difficult to be totally honest with a friend, family member or neighbor? The truth of the matter is that we too often are people pleasers that are fearful of saying NO, letting someone down and not being the good aunt or uncle. The opportunity is to say YES to what matters in life and NO to what becomes a distraction or hindrance to your life passion and growth. It would have been so much easier to have survived the NO’s in my life as a kid if my parents or friends would have said no instead of playing the maybe game.

Yes, I know that if someone tells me maybe than I’m most likely not going to count on them. Yet, I know that I would prefer someone to say a YES or a NO instead of maybe so I can actually make real plans. So maybe or later usually does mean NEVER!