Is it worth winning an argument at the expense of a friendship?

Have you ever gotten caught up in a fight or disagreement only to discover that you might be right but is it worth loosing a friend over it? I will be the first to admit that my DNA makeup is one where I don’t like to ever loose an argument. I have spent years honing my oratory skills to be pervasive but unfortunately at times I can use my skill set in a destructive fashion. Perspective and different communication styles can make it difficult to wade through a disagreement with friend, family member or work place partner.

It’s always easy to say looking back that I shouldn’t have made such a big deal about something that I truly believed was life or death at the moment. Yet, how often do we get caught up in the moment thinking that my life depends upon getting my point across or putting down my friend who has now become my opponent?

The last couple of days I’ve been in the middle of some real difficult situations that required delicate maneuvering. Yet, I ended up being the strongman wanting to get my point across which I believed was more important than how an individual felt. So how do you go back after having won an argument but almost losing a friend or pushing away a spouse to apologize or reconnect?

I have many friends who have helped me see that life can be messy and the struggle exists and is real for everyone including myself. One of the reasons why I tore into someone was that I had almost been run over by a semi-truck that was attempting a left hand turn. Yes, the individual that had pushed my button had chosen to avoid their responsibility and do ‘the what about this situation’ aversion technic. I was annoyed because we had already talked through this specific topic over the last few months. So I believed it was time to deal with it and not have an argument.

Little did I expect this individual to come unglued but had hoped that they would clearly agree with my logic and see their need to just follow through with the obvious. Yet, what happened was ongoing rebellious behavior that clearly defied my expectations. So how do you handle this type of messy situation without adding to the confusion and frustration?

I was in the middle of a group text that ended up becoming a little on the edge, knowing that this might offend one of the recipients. I knew just as this dicey foray began that it wasn’t going to produce good fruit. So with any touchy situation it’s never easy to know the right path vs. the wrong path to pursue. What I’m learning is that I have to step back and be slower to text or get my point across to see what’s really the more important next step to take. What’s more important, getting my point across or asking questions and listening?

I’m old enough to understand that there will be more situations like this week where I will be on the edge not knowing how far to push someone or to walk away and do nothing. So I have to admit that it isn’t worth winning that screaming match to lose a friend or annoy my wife!