Do you ever listen to your own advice?

I recently was in a discussion with a grandma at a senior center about her son and grandson. She was rather frustrated with her son’s unwillingness to help his son. Grandma was quick to say the obvious as she referred to her son as he spoke to his son, ‘Do what I say period!’ Yet the reality was that the son reacted to his dad’s unwillingness to follow his own advice. The dad had kicked out his son because he was actually a clone of himself at the same age. The grandma went on to describe how her grandson was succeeding after he had moved in with her. So why is it so easy to give out advice but then not be willing to listen to yourself and follow through?

I had posted a few months ago ‘The Best Advice is Free’ that was a story of an older teen who related back to his younger twin brothers. I had asked him if he were going to die tonight what advice would he give his brothers. He was quick to text back that it was important to listen to your parents and follow their advice. I made the point that we can spend lots of money on a consultant, counselor or life coach and still not get this older teen’s simple advice for free!

Now this older teen has found himself in some serious trouble. He had chosen to go out with some close friends and they did something they regretted and got arrested. He ended up in court and ultimately received probation, community service and a small fine. He was rather embarrassed but admitted that he had messed up big time and was not a good role model for his younger twin brothers.

I asked this teen after listening to what happened if he had learned anything from getting in trouble and what he would tell his brothers. He came back with excellent advice about being careful with who you make your real friends. He admitted that he had picked the wrong friends to follow. The challenge is that it is so easy to be critical of someone else about not following your advice but for yourself you have a double standard where you don’t ‘walk your talk’. The grandma had attempted to help her son see his short sightedness with not being consistent in his own life choices and how his double standard hurt his relationship with his own son.

My mom would always be quick to tell me to treat people the way I wanted to be treated and to first listen before I opened my mouth. She would continue and tell me it would be best not to give out advice if I wasn't going to follow it myself!