User?

I will be the first to confess that at times I align myself with individuals or groups that can help me be better at doing community work.  Yes, I have learned that being a networker helps me be more effective and efficient. I do struggle on occasion as to whether I’m doing this in a more utilitarian fashion, i.e. the ends justify the means instead of being genuinely interested and wanting to get to know a new friend. I also often see myself in situations where I allow many to take advantage of me.

Last night in the middle of driving a large group of teens home I had a text from one of our teens that needed bus money to go to a friend’s house. I would have said no if I wasn’t going to be in her area. Yet, I knew that eventually I would drive by my Starbucks and could get her a bus card not cash. So I explained the situation and expected her to say forget it. She instead was willing to wait almost an hour. I was willing to help her if she said thanks. She did say thanks and showed some appreciation. I know that in her family having $4 isn’t a given.

I have a few friends who have become very generous donors to our work with New City. I know that ultimately in God’s eyes that a gift is more reflective of a person’s heart than the actual amount. Jesus was very quick to applaud the sacrificial giving of the widow who threw in a penny than the affluent leader who gave thousands. So I know that is so important to recognize all gifts as being significant whether they be a gift for $25 or a gift for $10,000. I’m learning to trust God and also recognize that I can also take advantage of God’s generous blessings in my life and misuse his resources.

I know that God has humbled often in the past where I’ve had to ask someone for help in tough circumstances. This usually would revolve around money issues. I know all of us are supposed to have a rainy day fund or as Dave Ramsey would say make that emergency fund a high priority until you do anything else. I have always been spoiled, which isn’t great, with parents who would help with car repair emergencies or health expense. I can remember my bout with skin cancer cost us over $7500 out of pocket expense. I was blessed to have a friend become my advocate and helped raised this amount. I know that I can’t expect this all of the time. (I have to be honest that I would love to have this happen now with broken foot expense.)

I at times struggle helping a few special friends who have the ability to be better at both managing their finances and their way of living. I know that you can get in real trouble living day to day and not having any plan for tomorrow. I have tried to get one of my single dads to always keep a $20 hidden in his wallet that when he is broke he still has gas money. I also understand how maintaining family relationships is key if you are going to get help when the storm hits. It doesn’t surprise me that most people who come to me for help automatically tell me that they don’t have family support. The reality is that they have burnt their bridges. The question I will raise is why should help them if they haven’t be better at maintaining their family ties?

I’m always faced with teens that need money and are willing to work. I have some teens that are superstar workers that I love to give opportunities to help around the house, clean vehicles and help with New City mailings. I have other teens where I know that this is more of a hand out and I will ultimately resent having given them cash for doing substandard work. So how do you know when to let someone take a little advantage of you so they might learn a little about being responsible and taking more initiative?

I know that I was blessed to have parents and friends throughout my life that have taught me first hand what it means to think ahead and be willing to work hard and hopefully work smart to do better in life and make an impact on those around you. I know that I can’t expect a bunch of my little kids to act like teens but I do expect my teens not to act like little kids. It is tough when you have adults living and acting like teens. The reality is that God’s love is a gift, which I will never deserve or can never earn. Grace will motivate me to become a giver who isn’t interested in what I get back. I’m thrilled when I see someone who has been a recipient of grace give without any questions!