There must be some type of genetic defect in the male DNA
that makes it difficult or almost impossible to ask for directions when we are
lost! The other bizarre phenomenon is that the male species goes out of his way
to ignore directions to assembling most things. I can remember as a kid my mom
harping on my dad about why he didn’t look at a map; this is a pre-Google map
era, before we would go on a road-trip. I know most men have some type of ego
issue with being humble enough to ask for directions or get real help.
At first I truly believed that this was more an issue with
old guys who were too stubborn to ask. Yet, as I have been around lots of teens
and 20 somethings it’s clear that guys really believe they know everything and
would never ask for help. I can remember last summer when we were having a
special event for some of my college interns that helped out over the year. I had invited one of our teens that had been a
special help. I texted him the actual address and a link to a map. Yet, this
guy ended up about 30 minutes away. His response was I thought you said it was
at this resort. I said yes but there are like 10 different locations in
Phoenix. He had been on autopilot and ended
up at a different location even though he had the directions.
I have fond memories as a pre-teen having a father son
bonding experience over building a Vox Combo Organ. (This was one of those
Heathkit deals that cost 50% less than buying it.) My dad was the electronic
wiz kid that loved to put together ham radios as a kid. The challenge with this
organ was that it had over 20 circuit boards that each had over 30 different
transistors. This meant that there wasn’t any way you could fake putting it
together. I’m still shocked and in awe that after working on it for months that
it worked. The only downside was one key was an octave high! My dad eventually figured out a way to ‘mickey
mouse’ this and it worked.
The point with all of this is that there is a perceived
sense that asking for directions or help shows weakness for a guy. The reality
whether in your family, business or church setting is that asking for help
shows that you are human and gives others an opportunity to shine. I know that
lots of guys, myself included, truly believe they know everything and have been
sent by God or some alien to correct everyone and put the world straight.
I know that I have come to appreciate those that do have an
intuitive sense of directions and you know that this person is trustworthy. The
challenge is when the person who doesn’t have any sense of directions
volunteers to drive and won’t allow others to give assistance in arriving at
our destination. I can better understand why this is so much road rage when at
the last minute you realize that you are headed in the WRONG direction and that
the exit happens to be five lanes over.
I had a good laugh with my mom about my dad in his later
years. My dad had flown B-52s literally all over the world and never gotten
lost and this was pre-computer and real navigational systems. Yet, as he was
facing his memory loss issues driving around the corner to get pizza became an
hour plus adventure. I was truly fearful that he would be so lost that he
wouldn’t find his way home. Yet, he would always arrive home with the pizza
seeing this look of WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN from my mom. I learned to not take this
personal and just was always quick to take my car and be the one to drive after
the Dementia took over.
So if you catch yourself being lost or very lost don’t be
too embarrassed to call, use a map app or actually stop and roll down your
window on your car and get directions! Please don’t try to assemble anything
without another person helping who forces you to go step by step with the
directions so there aren’t any parts left over.
Yes, I know that I will get lost at times and will blame it
on Apple Maps being bad!
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