LOUD!

I married into a quiet family that considers talking barely above a whisper as almost screaming. My older daughter would burst into tears if you spoke just a little above a normal voice. So I have been around people that are generally not screamers or too loud unless there was an emergency that warranted quick attention. Over the last 5 years we have lived between the Hispanic and African American Communities that can at times be really loud.

My wife accuses me at times of being partially deaf because of my rock band days in the 60’s when we played really loud music. Anne is funny to watch if we are at a concert or loud movie. She will quickly take out a Kleenex and tear off a few pieces to stuff into her ears. I actually enjoy listening to loud music within reason. What I find hard is when people are in the habit of screaming in their normal conversation.

We have had different people live with us over the last 5 years. It is always been interesting to see how they respond to our way of communicating. We at times can express ourselves in a loud fashion. Yet, what I am seeing is that unresolved anger is a huge factor when it comes to the decibel level of many. I truly feel for the youth that are being raised by single parents who are at the breaking point.

I have been blessed all of my life to have the means to do more than just exist. So it is difficult for me to fathom what it would be like to live day-to-day without a place to live, no money for food or extras. I have also been around a sizeable group of people who have done very well in business and can pretty much do anything they want. So it is difficult to help the haves understand the have not’s. Much as the have not’s seem to truly believe that the green stuff will solve all of their ills.

This last week I almost lost it in a local store while waiting for a prescription to be finished for a teen. I am not totally blind or brain dead so I didn’t totally realize how stressed out this mom happened to be. As we are waiting for the med I asked a simple question about what happened at the doctors and what was the diagnosis. The response was one that totally took me off guard. I was tongue lashed for asking the teen and not the mom. I was infringing on parental authority by asking this older teen.

I ended walking out of the store and sat in my car. I was upset and didn’t want to say something that I would regret later. Unfortunately the evening went down hill and the proverbial argument happened where I put my foot down and said this is enough. I pulled over in my truck and asked the mom to leave if she couldn’t communicate in a civilized fashion. I left feeling horrible but couldn’t tolerate the uncalled for behavior. I pull into my driveway and called back the teen and the mom. I pull back out of the driveway and pick them up. Apologies happen on both sides and we go back to the house to pray.

I still don’t know why people have to scream? It means that the teens I love and want to see figure out life are now no different then their moms or extended families. I get texts all of the time from this one teen that says he is ready to kill someone if he doesn’t get out of his house. I will always tell him to walk out and get some air. I think that I will design or find a sticker that has drama and a line through it. I do tire of the needless drama that is caused from kids, teens and adults because of not knowing how to handle your emotions. I know my mom would always say don’t make mountains out of molehills. Yet, I have to admit that I’m prone to be a control freak, which wants everything a certain way.

So I guess my wife is right in having earplugs handy at times to protect her from the loudness of life. I do want to have my hearing in my 80’s. Anger is part of life’s ups and downs. I realize that the Bible’s admonition to deal with it before going to bed is excellent advice. It is that unchecked anger that will come back to bite us. I know that Jesus at times would seemingly lose his temper. What I see as I go back and study Jesus’ actions is that he used his emotions to express a truth. My prayer is to learn how to use my emotion in a constructive not destructive fashion.