I grew up in a military home where my dad taught me the
mindset of yes sir or no sir or yes mam or no mam. Why does it seem like we are
birthing a generation where respect and a sense of honor is lost? I will be the
first to confess that I grew up as someone that didn’t want to be a clone of my
dad’s military or authoritarian life style. I was quick to say don’t trust
anyone who is significantly older than you.
I live in a multi-cultural world where respect for anyone is
a journey that takes not months but probably years for someone to gain your
trust or where you can be trusted. I am starting to get the importance of
taking the time to build relationships. It is through this journey of
relationship building that trust and respect start to happen. The challenge is
that it takes time and there are no short cuts.
As I drive around for a good portion of my day it is always
upsetting to see people of all ages toss trash out of their car as they are
driving. You can imagine that my Anne or I might go ballistic when one of our
kids or teens tosses something out of one of our vehicles. I know that even
Terrance, who helps a lot, gets bugged when he notices a paper wrapper being
tossed. I have traveled to Asia and witnessed the same careless placement of
trash. I can remember going on an expensive boat ride in Bangkok Thailand. I
was taken back when a family that seemed middle class tossed all of their lunch
left overs literally overboard into the river.
It’s not that I’m totally becoming ‘green’ but it’s more
with how we treat older members of our own families, churches and neighbors
that is bugging me. Yeah, I admit that I’m getting older and at times am
surprised when one of my teens says yes sir or no sir. It is too easy to act
like they must be from a different planet. So what determines whether someone
growing up has an appreciation for the elderly or seeing an opportunity to help
someone with a door that needs to be held open or someone that willfully picks
up someone else’s’ trash.
Is thoughtfulness something that we naturally just do? I
think it is learned through our parents, friends and larger family. I believe
that random acts of kindness will change the world. The challenge is that most
of us live with the mindset of waiting for someone else to act first before we
purposely do anything. It would be so much nicer if we got into a contest to
see who could do more with showing kindness than waiting for someone else to
step up and make a difference.
Last night in our mentor group we were talking about respect
and the impact of being disrespectful. It was clear that everyone understood
the importance of being respectful but the reality that it is very difficult to
respect those who aren’t worthy of your respect. One of our interns, a former
Army Sargent, shared about the difficultly of respecting a senior officer who
wasn’t deserving of respect, yet you have to respect the ‘office’ or ‘rank’.
The real discussion revolved around parents or guardians who
tell their kids to do certain things and then they go ahead and break all of
the rules. Obviously no one likes someone who is two faced and lives a double
life. We talked about the fact that God wants us to honor or respect our
parents as a way of respecting him. The challenge is that it is too easy to
react at times to parents who are unreasonable. We also talked about the fact
that it is also easy for teens or young adults to also live ‘hidden’ lives
where we live a lie and pretend to be nice and kind and respectful when we are
far from that.
I’m so appreciative of my dad’s way of teaching me respect.
He didn’t bark out commands or scream at me when I did something stupid. He
just lived it and as a little kid growing up I saw it being modeled. So think
about holding the door open for someone with his or her hands full. Also think
about how you talk and look at someone. It might make the difference for that
person having a great day or a so so day.
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