This morning I arose before the
sun peaked out amongst the clouds to get ready for skin cancer surgery. I have
been tortured over the last 7 years with a variety of procedures that remove
the non-life threatening type of skin cancer. I'm fortunate to only be
irritated with this form of cancer. I know that as a youth and adult that I
loved the sun and enjoyed, especially in college, being able to surf in the
ocean. Contrary to my wife's preference I would love to lie out on a beach
towel with the sand between my toes and get baked. I realized now that I should
have used sun screen and my concrete or construction days would have been
better with a shirt on my back than going topless.
I really don't like going to any
doctor but have made the concession to visit my dermatologist twice a year. The
burns and slices I receive to remove my skin cancer is truly nothing in
comparison to the surgeries, chemo-treatments and medications that my mom took
over almost a decade. I have little comprehension of how sick everyone feels
who have to do chemo on a continual basis to attack the cancer that is taking
over their body.
My Mohs procedure this morning
wasn't a big deal to me but clearly the doctor doing the slicing wanted to
convey that this could become serious if left unchecked. I had a Basal Cell
Carcinoma site on my leg just below my knee. Because I have Psoriasis it isn't
always easy to know what is skin cancer instead of a scaly spot. Never the less
after a few injections my site was totally numb and the slice of the knife
didn't pose a threat to my discomfort until later on today. I have lost track
of whether I'm up to probably 20 slices or burns but somewhere in that arena.
I'm clearly thankful that my type
of cancer at most will mean that I'll have to wear a T-Shirt on sunny days.
Whereas, I watched my mom fight for her life over a period of three years. She
had breast cancer and after surgery believed that she was in remission but
after a couple of years the cancer returned in full force. I sadly remember the
side effects of the chemo that she would get on a weekly basis. She would be
left exhausted, sick to her stomach and incapable of eating for a day or so. My
mom was my hero because she faced this with a determination and faith that
touched my life.
I became my mom's advocate during
this period and would commute to San Diego for her monthly visit with her
Oncologist. I wanted to understand whether the treatment had any real impact on
her cancer's progression. The reality was that her cancer wasn't DNA specific
so the chemo didn't have any real impact. I ended up fighting with my dad and
the doctor to stop the treatment if there wasn't any clear sign of remission
taking place. I learned so much about compassion, loving someone who is dying
and listening before expressing myself.
I know that cancer will touch most
families and at some point you will be faced with an end of life decision. My
mom and dad decided to stay in their tiny little house while my mom went
through her last year of struggling with the cancer's progression and her
getting sicker from the chemo. My consolation in the midst of her battle was
that I was able to persuade her and my dad to stop treatment so she could be
capable of seeing her son, my brother, graduate from the University of
California at Santa Barbara with his PhD in Spanish.
It was a few months after this
milestone in our family that she came to her last few weeks. It took some arm
twisting and persuading to get my dad, who was emotionally exhausted at this
point, to allow Hospice to make home visits to help my mom with pain meds. I
will always remember my dad and I arguing about this and then after the nurses
started to visit and give her morphine my dad would go off on me and ask why I
hadn't told him sooner about this amazing help that Hospice provides.
Looking back my mom taught me how
to face my own mortality. Every time I would see her she would always ask me if
there was something I wanted to ask or say. She would go out of her way to tell
me that she loved me and that she had no regrets in life. She was an amazing
lady who cared for my dad as he watched his lady slowly deteriorate. I will
always remember that phone call at 3 am on that Thursday morning. My dad was on
a spiritual high because his lady had passed from this horrible battle with
cancer to her heavenly home to experience real peace and wholeness.
Please don't be like me and go to
the doctor, get the help, advice and multiple opinions before you decide about
your course of treatment! Life is truly
a gift so guard it and enjoy it to the max!
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