As a kid growing up my mom would always remind me
before a baseball game it’s not whether you win or lose that matters the most but
how you play the game. It’s rather easy for an adult to give this type of
platitude to a kid but what about your personal life when you become the
aggressive testosterone filled guy playing in a basketball tournament? The
reality of our sport dominated culture is that winning is everything. Yes, it’s
incredible to make it to the Super Bowl but you have to win to get that
Lombardi Trophy. Those who don’t get the trophy are soon forgotten nobodies.
How many remember those who gave their best effort after years of
training in the Olympics when they finish last? Yet, the incredible amount of
effort, training and sacrifice made by all Olympians shows how incredible these
people are who have given up a significant part of their life to compete for
their country. So what has to happen for our little kids growing up to
understand that losing is a natural part of life that is so much more important
to understand than winning?
Over the weekend my group of rag tag teens from the Barrio played a
basketball tournament with a group of close Korean friends. These are amazing guys but so competitive
that it is interesting to watch them deal with not winning but actually coming
in third. I chuckled to myself as I talked to a few of the key leaders for
their team to realize that they hadn’t slept much during the night after their
loss in attempting to figure out what had happened? Philosophically it did
matter to them whether they played a zone or man-to-man defense? Yet the more
important factor, which they ultimately agreed about, was this was more about being
together and having fun than getting a trophy.
So what would happen if we decided to turn the tables and give out
trophies for those who did their best but came in last? What about all of those
geeky guys and gals or when I was a teen those straight laced types that hated
sports and cringed when they were always chosen last to play? I do admit that I
struggle with how sports has become the major obsession with most guys and that
losing becomes the sign of weakness and not being a real man’s man. The reality
is that one of the best teachers in life is failure. What should determine
whether you are a winner is how many times you have had to stand back up after
you have fallen!
Yes, losing becomes a pathway to understanding the real meaning of
life. I agree that teamwork and having an incredible coach is so important in
life. Yet, what happens to the majority of people that don’t make the team and
don’t have a coach? It’s time that we see our parents, teachers, youth pastors
and neighbors as potentially being that special person for us, especially when
we lose after we have done our best. I
can remember my mom so often giving me that look of being so proud of me after
losing a game where I was actually the one that lost it. This was so much more
important looking back then the few times when I was actually the star of a
Little League Game.
The notion of becoming a gracious loser begins with the way you and
me decide to approach life circumstances today. What would happen if we talked
more about our failures than our successes? What if I let go of the winning is everything
mindset to being more honest and real with how I deal with my personal losses?
When was the last time that you encouraged someone going through a tough time
instead of giving them a sense of shame because clearly something must be wrong
with them if they experience failure.
Yes, what matters most isn't winning or losing but whether you
get back up after losing and keep trying! Sometimes winners become the losers
and losers become the real winners!
No comments:
Post a Comment