Isn’t it amazing that as you look back at your life you realize that you really weren’t very smart, practical or with at when you were a kid at 20! I can remember getting into it with my future father in-law over some rather foolish issues when I was 19 almost 20. I had expressed myself rather boldly that it was God’s will for me to marry his daughter. Reality check, she was 19 and I would be 20 both yet to finish college and in his mind too young, broke and clearly not ready to face the world on our own. Looking through the rear view mirror of life he was totally right. Yet, we got married too young ultimately against his desires but he conceded to our wishes. Fortunately for him we did finish college, grad school, got great jobs and have a family at the age of 25 not 19.
What I love about today’s culture is that mentoring and apprenticeship models have become popularized with such shows as the Shark Tank and even Mr. Trump’s Celeb Apprentice show. Clearly as I have grown up in doing church and community work my passion, as an old guy, is to be there for a few who I would love not to make the same mistakes as I did. The challenge, especially with teens and young adults, is this mindset that old people are totally brain dead and could never understand life and all of the challenges in today’s world.
Now I can laugh at how I treated my father as I faced high school graduation and he retiring from the Air Force after serving his country for 20 years flying B-52s in Vietnam. One of the grave errors of my youth was to disrespect my dad over the length of my hair and my sideburns. I wholeheartedly admit that in college I was a longhaired Jesus Freak. Yet, in high school my hair was trimmed nicely but I had sideburns probably a couple inches below my earlobe. This became a point of contention which caused a screaming match to erupt.
What I didn’t realize as I was shouting back at my dad, I would never say old man, was that the afternoon of our blow up was a special gathering with a few of his Air Force friends to celebrate his retirement. I unfortunately made his day a totally bomb, pardon the pun because my dad was a radar navigator who dropped the bombs. Looking back I should have known that what was more important than the length of my hair was honoring my dad for his 20 years of service and over 5000 hours of combat flight in Vietnam. Instead I perceived myself as winning an argument but not realizing I could have lost my dad’s heart.
So is it possible to step back both in our youth and old age to honestly realize that we do truly need each other. What I have learned over the last 20 years working with a variety of people types is that I can be taught by someone that would be perceived as being uneducated and I might possibly be able to mentor a kid from the hood who would usually cringe at listening to an old guy.
I recently saw the movie, Spare Parts, which is a true story about a High School Robotics Team from a local Phoenix High School. This team of drop out types, thugs, geeks and a Professor struggling with life is that they were able to beat out the ‘big guys’ from the Ivy League Colleges. Their robot wasn’t high tech and cost next to nothing but it did the job and proved to the MIT, Cal and Virg. Tech group that they could actually learn something from a bunch of High School students from the hood. So I admit in my old age that I believed I was invincible and immortal at 20 and at times even at 61! Time to come down out of the clouds and realize I need the 20 year olds as much as they need me.
Most of all, Dad, I’m so sorry that I was such a pain that day in 1971! I love you!!
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