Is social media and my iPhone messing up my ability to communicate?

When was the last time you actually talked to your friend or neighbor? Do you ever catch yourself deliberately texting or messaging on Facebook instead of actually talking to your friend or aging parents? Do you catch yourself, when you are actually conversing, just waiting for the opportunity to get your point across which clearly will solve your friend’s ails? I have to confess that in my life too often I’m more interested in talking instead of really hearing what my friend has to say.

It doesn’t take much to see the impact of social media or my iPhone on communication styles today. A quick look at your cell bill and you will see that you definitely need unlimited texting and more data but your actual minutes used for talking becomes less and less the more we allow technology to overtake us. It’s so easy to text 5-6k times a month and use 350 minutes for talking. The real eye opening fact is that social media and texting are replacing real face-to-face communication. What happened to actually sitting down and listening to someone share their story without having an agenda that you have to push?

One aspect of my life, which I so enjoy, is spending time with kids, teens, college students and adults as we pick up in our big van for different weekly events or drive to Flagstaff to see the snow or the red rock in Sedona. I’m amazed at what you can learn from someone else when you choose to listen without putting in your two cents. I confess that as a guy it is too easy to be task oriented to such an extent that I’m more concerned about checking off my list of action items then hearing about my wife’s day or checking up on my own family. Yes, I love my iPhone, which has made my life easier, but it has also tempted me to avoid talking and actually seeing the whites of someone’s eyeballs as I listen to what’s happening in their life.

I believe that listening is becoming a lost art that has been replaced by electronics. I know that my wife continues to bagger me about the need to always sit down at dinner time and actually turn off the ‘tube’, put my iPhone down and actually listen and converse. The unfortunate fact today is that very few actually eat dinner together as a family and that if they do it is with the TV blaring or everyone texting instead of talking and listening. 

We all face the tranny of the urgent where too often we allow things, which don’t matter, or the good versus great challenge, ala Jim Collins, to side track us. I know that multi-tasking supposedly is the key to improving life and work performance but it can kill a relationship. So taking the time to listen to someone is one of the key ingredients to improving a marriage, a sibling relationship or helping work to get accomplished in the marketplace.

Tough choice to consider but is it time to be old school and actually stop texting, messaging and enjoy that cup of coffee at Starbucks and learn how to listen. My mom would always tell me to slow down, stop and smell the coffee or roses? Maybe it’s time for this old trend to come back! Thanks MOM!