One of the more tragic aspects in life is watching people
who you love but don’t share much in common end up being at odds with yourself
and others! Why is it the case that people that are passionate about politics,
religion, education reform or even the PC vs. MAC war end up being mean or even
brutal to each other? I’m often humbled by the fact that people who claim to be
Christians and share much in common with me are easily upset and even annoyed
if I don’t agree 100% with them.
It amazes me that we are so quick to focus on what divides
us instead of what we share in common. I understand the reason that conformity
or homogeneity creates a sense of security for most. When we are thrown into a
situation that is unfamiliar or clearly different from our present perspective
on life we question, argue and ultimately decide whether the relationship is
viable. Yet, usually the goal of my relationships in this context isn’t to
understand unfortunately but to persuade someone over to my side, which clearly
is the correct side! The challenge is that this usually doesn’t happen and we
walk away too often at odds or at war with a work place friend, neighbor or
family member.
My mom was always quick to remind me to be nice or kind to
everyone and especially the person that I didn’t see eye to eye. The reality is
when I walk away from an argument with someone I’m usually mad and hold a
grudge. My mom would remind me often about the Bible’s admonition to live at
peace with everyone as best as is possible. So is it possible to be kind and
thoughtful to the person who holds a view that you believe to be totally off
base?
Do you live by the golden rule where you believe that for
you to be treated fairly you have to treat others fairly? So what happens when
you show kindness to someone and they are ungrateful or actually rude or crude
to you? I confess that too often I treat someone a certain way so that I can
get what I want from them. The reason why most people aren’t kind to those that
are different from them is the false assumption that someone that holds a
contrary view to theirs has to be bad or evil!
I’ve had the most amazing experiences at time where I have
met someone who is the polar opposite of me. The initial reaction is that there
isn’t any possible way we could be friends or actually carry on a beneficial
conversation. Yet, in many circumstances I’ve discovered that this person who I
might not agree with their life style choices becomes a friend. I’ve learned
from my mom’s example to look beyond our differences and see the good in the
other person and in time see that we do share much in common. The difficulty is
that too often we are too shallow in our basis for understanding a person and are
too quick to jump to conclusions about their personal integrity.
Maybe it’s time to show kindness to the person that doesn’t
agree totally with your passions and views in life! Imagine the impact this
would have on your mood and energy level tomorrow? It takes way more energy to
frown than it does to smile J
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