Survival Mode?

I don’t want to ever be labeled a survivor! I want to make my life the best and rock the world around me. Yet, I’m surrounded by people who barely seem to live and have all of the excuses to explain why they can’t do any better. I got into a discussion with one of my 20 year olds. He has a had a tough life without having a dad be there for him and also a mom who is on the edge. He hadn’t finished high school so he is still attempting to get his G.E. D. or actual diploma. I understand how easy it is to allow circumstances to drag you down in life and dictate the present. The challenge as I explained to my friend is that all of this was his doing not mine or anyone else’s. He could have finished on time but allowed life circumstances to become an obstacle.

We had a great discussion in our life group about the blame game, making excuses for why life isn’t happening and then the real focus how to own your life. I had one of our college interns talk about her life. She grew up with a mom and dad that were incarcerated most of her youth. Yet, this gal hasn’t allowed this to stop her from making her life happen. She hasn’t blamed them or made excuses about her lack of motivation but instead has stepped up to be different and better at facing life challenges. She was honest and said that at times she was mad at God for giving her parents that didn’t get it or as she would say never own up to their faults. Yet, this has helped her to dive into her life focus and be an inspiration to others, including myself.

My dad died a couple of months ago and I get the same question all of the time, “How are you doing?” I really don’t want to say ahhh I’m surviving or being more honest I’m hurt, lonely, feeling empty and a little angry at God for having my parents die in ways that weren’t great. I know that it is difficult to express loss to someone who had never experienced the pain of watching a mom slowly die from cancer that left her in agonizing pain everyday without any relief. I know that my dad’s memory loss was different in that it wasn’t acute pain but different watching someone who was very intelligent not be able to remember anything or make up stories about his past. Regardless death isn’t welcomed under any circumstances but is a reality we all must face.

I was fortunate to be part of an ASU Forum this week that talked about handling stress. The obvious commonality amongst the panelist was that everyone had learned over time how to step back and deal with the cause of their stress or meltdown. It seemed that everyone recognized at some point that it was their responsibility to figure out ways to deal with the hurt, pain and rejection they were experiencing in life. The panelists each found out ways to stop their lives for a short time and catch their breath through some form of meditation. The challenge for most of us is that we allow circumstances to rule our choices and feelings to such an extent that we truly think that surviving is just the way life happens to be.

My friend who is struggling to finish his High School Diploma at 20 has a tough time figuring out how to follow through and finish. My hope and prayer is to be a guide that says don’t accept survival as your life choice but instead seek to dive into your present life, be more organized, more honest and quicker to ask for help. What’s most important in life is how you finish not how long it takes to accomplish the task before you! (I have a close friend who is 40 that is finishing her G.E.D.)