I know that the building of character is an awesome process.
The challenge for me is that I know what I’m supposed to do but don’t like the
waiting game. I want to know the outcome of a situation before it finishes. It
is so easy to always be in a rush assuming that being busy equates with being
productive and effective in all you do. Yet, the reality is that God gets our
attention and puts our lives on hold so that I have no choice but to wait. The
more I scream for instant information the more likely God will put me in the
slow mode.
Today I’m waiting for my Anne to come out of surgery after
having a simple procedure done. Actually, it’s a painful procedure for her but
for me matter it is a matter of waiting an hour or so. The challenge is that we
aren’t going to know the results of this procedure for a few days. I know that
in the past I would stay busy so that the time would fly and the day would come
with the news, whether that be good or bad news. Today as I sit outside a café
at the hospital I want time to be still and allow my Anne to be able to walk
away from all of the responsibilities she has and be able to catch her breath.
Yet, I know the reality is that she will be doing homework and thinking in the
back of her mind what will life be like in a few days?
I can remember over 17 years ago receiving a call from my
parents about them coming out for a visit. Little did I know when I received
that call I would hear the news that my mom had breast cancer. My parents were
rather calm and capable of explaining what was going to happen to my mom. Yet,
for me my personal world would unravel with the news that my mom most likely
had a terminal disease that would take her life. My world for the most part as
a kid and teen revolved around her. She was the one who taught me how to drive,
allowed me to sneak out on my first date and the one who taught me most about
facing life’s tough news.
It is too easy to always make everything about yourself in
life. I know that I’m not the one having a needle injected into my body to do a
biopsy on a potential life threatening disease. I know that after my mom’s
initial surgery after the c word became a normal part of my vocabulary I
watched someone I loved began a life that focused on too many doctor visits and
the inevitable issue of always being sick because of chemo. I didn’t realize
how this would prepare me to become an advocate for my dad and kids that come
out of at risk homes.
I know that it takes a little bit or a lot of being a
bulldog or in our neighborhood a pit bull to get people’s attention. I can
remember a few weeks ago having to persuade someone that they were going to do
intake on three kids and not just two and not make me come back for another
three hours of interrogations. I initially asked nicely then said if this
individual wouldn’t do it I needed to speak with their supervisor. Surprisingly
I got this person’s attention and all three of my kids were doing intake
together.
I know that the future isn’t in my hands regardless of how
intelligent I happen to be or how truly organized I am because of my high tech
tendencies. Yet, thinking over my life in the last 50 years I’m not sure I
would want it any other way. It is true that we learn life both backwards and
frontwards. I know that the past doesn’t have to determine my future; yet, if I
don’t pay attention to yesterday’s journey I’m most likely going to repeat some
foolish choice or make another dumb mistake. I know that trust is a big issue
in today’s society. Few know if they can trust more than a few with life issues.
I’m blessed to have lots of friends and family who I can trust and know that
they would step up for my better interests and especially those of my Anne.
So as I wait in this outdoor café area at a big hospital I
should recognize that the lack of Wi-Fi isn’t a big deal, yet, for my high tech
nerves it was at first. What is most important is to make what’s really
important be at the forefront of my heart and thoughts today. Yes, there are
many distractions around me that make waiting a real pain, but today I’m going
to put those aside and give my real attention to the one I love.
Yes, waiting isn’t always part of our schedule but at times
it helps one to slow down and appreciate what is truly important in life and
not allow stuff to get in the way!
No comments:
Post a Comment