Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Spare the Rod and create a bratty kid or adult!

I will be the first to admit that I only got spanked a few times as a kid growing up. I got caught playing ‘hooky’ from kindergarten. The punishment was a good spank from my dad. After my parents discovered the reason for my absence, the blonde girl was kissing me; they laughed and explained that I could have talked with the teacher. I have three kids that ranged in temperate from just raise your voice a little and that one cries to another that you had to physically restrain to get your point across. I know that in today’s society, church world and family settings the topic of child discipline is very diverse. My wife and I always chuckle when we see someone trying to reason with a toddler who is about to either burn itself or get shocked. When I see a kid running into the street I’m not going to wait to see what happens but rush out and grab the kid before they get hurt.

Over the last 10 years of my life I have spent with kids that have real issues that are a by-product of their family, neighborhood and culture. A good portion of what makes them act out they didn’t create. Yet, there is a sense in which they have to own up to their own choices sooner than later. I just got off the phone with a close friend who is a mentor for one of our teen gals who is struggling with life. My heart breaks for this gal because she is a by-product of a broken home with a mom who cares but isn’t capable of providing the normal life needs. I got upset when an adult’s dysfunctions cripple a kid or a teen.

So back to my topic which is both for kids, teens and adults as to when you have to use different measures to discipline for better life to happen. I know that today’s obsession with psychology makes it difficult for anyone to ever swat their little kid in a store when they are screaming and throwing a tantrum. Much like when you have a teen that is totally out of control and ignores curfew, steals and is doing drugs. Intervention becomes, unfortunately, a part of today’s world that needs to be better addressed in the family, church and in school. How long do I wait until I do something when I see someone hurting or being hurt by someone?

I know that a generation ago the topic of spanking vs. time-outs would be ludicrous. My grandparents would say you don’t reason with a little kid or allow a teen to be disrespectful. Yet, today we have raised a generation of disrespectful types that assume the world owes them a life and unfortunately seem to be afraid of school or work. Is there any correlation to the continued rise of our prison population? The only way that this tide of dysfunction can change is by choosing to step up and be part of the solution instead of standing by and watching lives go down the drain.


It is messy, dangerous but worth it to get in the middle of someone’s life and be the one that doesn’t settle for a ‘crappy’ life. As I finished the conversation with my one friend it was clear that she didn’t like being in the middle of this teen’s life but now felt compelled to do something instead of just watching and waiting for the inevitable. Yes, the only way change happens is when I choose to stop being a by-stander or spectator in life and be an advocate for life!

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