Stuff Happens!

I’m fortunate to be someone who loves meeting new people and making friends. It is amazing to see how God brings different people across my path on a daily basis. I had recently experienced a little bit of stress and tension over waiting for the results of my Anne’s biopsy. I have experienced both amazing miracles in life but also heart breaking tragedy as I watched my mom die over a period of years from cancer ravaging her body. I knew intellectually that God is part of both the good and bad that happens in life. Clearly it is so much easier to face life when the good is happening. The challenge is whether I would be thankful to God if the results had come back positive for my Anne to have cancer.

I was talking with a social worker that had just finished a behavioral session with our 3 guys who we are helping. I had mentioned to her the week before some of the challenges we faced between the kids and also my wife’s biopsy. She proceeded to share about something she had heard in church the following week. I appreciated her heart in caring and sharing. Yet, I reacted a little to what she said because she gave the impression that if we prayed for an hour a day that God would heal. If we didn’t pray than clearly God wouldn’t heal.

I struggle at times with understanding how I’m supposed to understand life when the bad stuff happens. I have some friends who would be quick to say that clearly bad stuff happens as a byproduct of my poor choices or out right sins. Yet, the opposite thought that good stuff happens because I’m good, faithful and obedient is just as implausible. Reality check for me, I’m never good or faithful to the extent that God would reward me.  So is it possible to see the benefit of both the good and bad in life?

There are more life stories around me and in the Bible about how people deal with the bad stuff than the good stuff. My focus over the last week was my wife and nothing else. I had a difficult time being in the center of activities but not having my heart be present as much as I would like. I understand that waiting is actually good and learning to be patient and persevere is a key life experience. I’m thankful that the results came quickly and that the waiting game stopped. Yet, I have so many friends who live day to day not knowing the future. This week has helped me see how I need to be more understanding and patient with those around me who don’t have the skills to deal with the bad stuff.

I have a good friend who just found out that he is going to need a hip replacement. He’s looking at the grave possibility of going on disability knowing that won’t meet the needs of his family. He has faced too many tough situations in life and now waits to see if he can work at all or whether he just waits for surgery and then does rehab over many months before the possibility of being able work. My life is a piece of cake in comparison to his situation.

Last night as we finished our guy group we went to the Habitat Community Park to play football or basketball. I had an experience that looking back was rather funny but during the initial encounter was rather terse. A resident of the community came up to me while I was sitting in my van getting ready to take one of the kids to the bathroom at Sammy’s house. She asked me what I was doing at the park and gave the impression that I had no business being there without community residents having invited us. I explained that we did have community residents in our group that they were the reason why we came to hang out at the park.

Our initial conversation was rather heated, this would be the bad stuff, but after talking it through I was able to share my involvement with Habitat and her community over the last decade plus. After listening to her story it turns out that we will now partner together to do some great things in her community with many of my friends helping. Looking back it would have been so easy to have just driven off and got all of the guys and say that it wasn’t worth the hassle or fight. Yet, I didn’t let her initial foray do that to me. So I am so appreciate of her becoming a new friend that shares a passion for at risk youth.

I know that each day I will see amazing things happen that if taken out of context can be misunderstood. So I get it that at times the bad stuff builds character in me and too much of the good stuff ruins me so I become too complacent. So again I like the quote I saw recently about the discussion moving away from the cup being half full or half empty but just enjoy the ½ cup of water or whatever!