A Time for Everything!

I can remember as a pre-teen just loving the Byrds’ song Turn, Turn, Turn there is a Season to Everything.  Today I’m privileged to assist with doing a funeral for a grandma of one of my teens. I can remember the heartache in my own life when I received a call from my dad at 3am on a Thursday morning. My dad was typically not someone that talked much on the phone, especially at this hour. Yet, I had been waiting for this call for the last 6 months knowing that my mom’s days were numbered as she had fought cancer the last 5 years of her life. I was truly blessed to have just seen my mom just a few weeks before her death.

I decided to take an early flight to be with my dad and brother. I will remember the spiritual energy that my dad exuded on all of us. It had been a very amazing experience for him as he helped his best friend make her way into her heavenly home. I can’t remember my dad sounding so high and truly excited over the last decade of our lives. I remember the battle that I created over stopping the chemo and allowing Hospice to help. After my dad came to his senses he allowed me to get the Hospice Nurse to come and assess my mom. She received amazing care the last couple weeks of her life. I believe it gave her the ability to rest and reflect on her life and that it was time to let go and trust God for my dad’s life.

The day that I flew to San Diego it was perfect weather. My brother picked me up from the airport and we quickly changed and picked up dad. My brother had been with mom the night before so my dad could go shopping. I was jealous that I hadn’t been with mom on her home coming night. My emotions the next few days went from crying, regret, hope, laughter, amazement and concern for my dad. We spent most of that day at the beach with Mango; he’s a giant Lab dog, and my niece and nephew.

As I do some soul searching and preparation for Melinda’s mom’s funeral it will take me back to my mom’s funeral. I have interesting memories of doing both my parent’s mom’s funerals. My mom was a very special part of my life especially with my dad being gone most of my teen years. My dad flew bombers during the Vietnam crisis. She had been the one to teach me about life from a very down to earth and hands on perspective. She had lived out this song actually written by Solomon and not the Byrds. I had learned first hand how to face both good times and tough times with a positive attitude but also an understanding that life will have moments of tears, laughter and frustration.

My dad’s passing brought a totally different side of life out for me. I had learned what it meant to be my dad’s shepherd over a period of 4 years. My dad had the beginning phase of Dementia during my mom’s real struggle with cancer. My mom was very good at hiding my dad’s difficulties. It was odd to me that my dad took an hour plus to drive back from getting pizza. Yet, he could fly around the world and be able to land within minutes of his schedule. My mom’s grave condition hid my dad’s illness. As I read and reread the Shepherd Psalm it will bring comfort to me first and then I pray to some close friends who are struggling with what has happened.

I know that God doesn’t promise riches or good health, yet, He promises to be there with us while we experience life each day. He is the one who provides not what we want but what we need in life. He is the one who can guide us into the still water of quiet rest instead of being drawn into the crowds or noise from social media. He knows exactly our right diet of green pastures or food that truly feeds our spirits and comforts our souls. I’m too prone to go after junk food for that quick sugar high.

I knew that my dad was slowing down and starting to have less and less control probably the week or so before he died. I knew that his days were few from the time that I moved him out here from San Diego. Yet, I so much enjoyed our silly little rides to McDonalds to get a shake and fries and then go to the big park around the corner and just watch the activity at the little lake. My dad’s last words to me will be emblazoned upon my heart until we reunite. He told me very simply, ‘Dave, I love you and want to thank you for caring for me!’ What made this so amazing was that he was already in what appeared to be a trance like state before he would be welcomed to heaven’s door and be with his lady once again.

Tears come to me as I write and reflect on the great Shepherd taking my dad and mom to be with him. As I read and reflect on this Psalm of hope in the face of hardship I pray that the God of all Comfort will also comfort Melinda, Matt and Johnny, my close friends. I know that today will not be easy for their family and friends.

Yes, that Great Shepherd, Jesus Christ, will walk with us through the valley of the shadow of death until He brings us to those quiet still waters and green pastures in heaven!