I could never fathom my wife becoming an adrenaline junkie.
Yet, over the last two years of her life she has been working in a trauma
setting where all of life is focused on saving a life or explaining to family
members or friends what had just happened. I’ve always been someone that loved
a fast paced life. I have always rebelled about sitting behind a desk in an
office. I have avoided this type of life over the last 30 years and made either
Starbucks or my office in my house my hideaway.
I attempt to reconcile my heart with my head when it comes
to my need to slow down or should I say actually stop at times and literally do
nothing. Is it possible to take a vacation and actually leave your iPhone at
home or my Mac Air in my cool SF bag brief case? I admit that it isn’t easy to
let go of the false notion that the world really needs me 24-7. Yet, if I don’t
practice being still and taking some time off then I live the illusion that I’m
really indispensible to God and the world.
So how do I face up to my ‘God’ complex where I believe that
I’m needed by all 24-7? It is great being involved with many different types of
people that run the gamut between different ages, socio-economics, religion and
racial backgrounds. I can actually get high off of how many text messages or
e-mails that I see on the face of my iPhone. Yet, most of this is
self-generated and to be honest seldom is something that is life or death
matters. So why is it so difficult to drink decaffeinated coffee or soda and
choose to not get the getters or a head ache?
The false notion that being busy equates to being effective
or important is a sad commentary on today’s society. I enjoy getting up early
which means I’m able to get more done than those that struggle with seeing the
sunrise each day. It is too easy to think that because I accomplish more than
someone else that I’m better then them or should get paid more. The
alternative, which I can’t handle, is being slackers who prides themselves on
being late or last and leaves the mess for someone else to clean up.
I know that rest is different for everyone so I can’t be so
quick to judge or say my way is always the best to get some R & R. I enjoy
reading and just doing next to nothing. I admit that it has taken my wife of 40
years a considerable amount of time to train me to not have to attempt doing 10
things in a day instead of 1 or 2. I believe it is important to figure out in
your own world how to detach yourself from the busyness of your work, family
and friends on occasion. It should be rocket science that even God choose to
have at least one day set aside to chill but with a purpose.
The opportunity we all face is to discover the power of
taking a break with a purpose that gives us an opportunity to catch our breath
and get recharged for tomorrow or next week. My struggle or tension, as some
would say, is that I’m both a morning person and night owl at the same time.
This means that eventually I crash and have to take a nap or actually go to bed
early. So it isn’t strange in my household to have me sneak up to my bedroom
and shut the door. I love to read my iPad and learn about the world today or
continue to read on Kindle. So I confess that adrenaline is so much more fun
than resting and being in neutral. Yet, as I get older I realize that I need
some time away if I’m going to make a difference in the world around me and
become a healthier person.
I know that the goal isn’t to totally avoid the adrenaline
high or becoming a legalist about how often you rest, take vacations or breaks
at work. The real goal is to find a balance where you can have a healthier or
less toxic life that isn’t attached to a caffeine high or running on empty with
adrenaline keeping you going.
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