Space?

I will be the first to admit that I can be an intense person on occasion, especially when I’m being an advocate for someone that is figuring out life or in great need. It is very easy in the middle of a passionate discussion to end up not listening to the other person and just be waiting for the opportunity to get your point across. This can happen often when you are working directly with people who have very different views than you. I’m learning that it is ok or actually beneficial to step back at times and give yourself space and that person space from your relationship.

Often the ability to see a situation more clearly comes when you step back from the discussion or argument that pushed you to the edge. I know that it is difficult for lots of people, myself included, not to get the last word in during a heated discussion. It is easy to believe that the world can’t go on without your opinion being heard. The reality is that the world will and does continue regardless of whether your point has been expressed. This can be a difficult fact to accept but it is true and can actually help create later opportunity for there to be reconciliation and a renewed and better relationship!

I confess that often I become too involved with helping people where there is an emotional attachment that makes it difficult to let go and back off. I’m getting old and realize that the path to healing and putting the pieces of a person’s life puzzle back together has to be initiated by that individual and not anyone else. This is where allowing there to be space in relationships can be healthy and bring a better sense of understanding in the future.

It’s also possible that relationships can go on the rocks and change. Yes, it isn’t possible to have hundreds of best friends regardless of what social media might say! I think it is important at times to take stock or inventory to see who is using up your emotional energy and assess whether this is how you want to live. I try to find a balance between having friends that energize you and others that you energize. This is just a normal part of life. The challenge is when all of your friends end up ‘sucking’ the life out of you.

This post was influenced by a quote that affirmed the need of having distance with people you love because of circumstances. I don’t totally agree with the quote because it gives a sense that you are on the right track and the other person is off. I’m becoming quicker to admit that I might be the person who is off track and need space for the other person to allow me to put my mind back together. Regardless, space sometimes can bring back perspective for all parties involved and create a healthier setting!